Sunday, December 31, 2006

Westmounters in Hollywood

Westmount's Nathalie Fay has been doing her utmost to uphold that ol' Westmount tradition of trying to make it as a Hollywood starlet. Fay, now in her 26th year, had a role in Will Farrell's Old School in which she played Mindy, whose line was "Hi Mitch!" Mitch was played by Luke Wilson. Fay grew up around Victoria and Sherbrooke, I believe with one franco parent and one less so. She has been in Los Angeles for five years. She's in town for Christmas.


Speaking of Westmount women in Hollywizzle...it can now be revealed that
Caroline Rhea, 42, of standup fame, Sabrina fame, talk show fame, and The Biggest Loser fame, grew up at 101 Upper Bellevue (map) in Westmount, on the glorious cusp of Summit Circle. It's the kind of place you feel like you died and went to heaven. Here's a Lovells pdf link showing her father Dr. David Rhea listed there in 1977 when Caroline was 13, a time she also was attending the Study, not the chepeast school around. Her older sister Celia Rhea has become a business lawyer in Toronto. Her other sister Cynthia Rhea, is a big time jobber at HBO Video.

Emmanuelle Beart's Montreal lover

This photo of French actress Emmanuel Beart nude isn't as gratuitous as you might imagine and yes it has a Montreal connection.

Beart, one of the biggest movie stars in France, posed nude in a 2003 photo spread with a young male model for Elle magazine. Her boyfriend Vincent Meyer became quite upset about this and committed suicide.

Soon after, Beart's grieving arms were filled with an old lover from Montreal named Marc Gagnon, who is more of an anglo than his name would imply. Gagnon a curly-haired charmer is about 43 now and from a fairly affluent family, on Avenue du Musee in the Golden Square Mile.

Gagnon knew a young Beart when she was a rising starlet living in Montreal in the early 1980s, a time when she was doing some Quebecois teleromans here early in her career. After the suicide of Meyer, Gagnon and Beart reignited the old flame and soon Gagnon, who was a veteran tree-planter, singer-songwriter and general scenester, went from relative obscurity in Montreal to becoming the subject of much French celebrity gossip in Paris, where he still lives last I checked.

I've known Gagnon for approximately forever and he's a character. His conversational style evolved from witty banter to a highly-personal approach where he looks you in deep in the eye, displaying some honest interest as well as much charm.

His equally clever younger sister Michelle Gagnon is also well-known in Montreal as a top-flight researcher, working now for Terrence McKenna documentaries at the CBC.

Here's a link to Beart's new Swedish lingerie ad which was supposedly too hot for TV...doesn't seem all that spicy to me though.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Tim Hine, the actor that don't say quit

The grinning madman pictured here exiting the Bily Kun is none other than Tim Hine, noted local thespian hot off two prominent roles on local stages. The affable transplanted Englishman has trode some high-class boards lately, notably as a couple of husbands in Saidye B's Fallen Angels. He followed that up with a lead role in a play about a gay guy (don't worry sweethearts, he's a breeder) the details of which fail my frail memory. Tim, who teaches English at College Montmorency, rode his bike from Lasalle to Laval - a long ride - every day to practice and perform in that play. He has started rolling in style, having purchased a sweet little Tercel. The story of how he landed the Saidye role is righteous. He rang up to ask if he could audition but was told that they weren't soliciting actors. They invited him to drop off his CV. He found the script, read it and showed up at the auditions anyway, sitting awkwardly on a chair in the hallway hoping to be invited in. When the chief was leaving she had the courtesy of inquiring who he was. She allowed him to audition. He not only got the role, he scored a dual role. Perseverance pays.

Tim has also risen to the most sacred challenge a man can face, dedicated fatherhood. He was in great demand acting in Western Canada a few years ago but returned to be close to his two adolescent sons who live with their mom in Montreal.

Friday, December 29, 2006

JJ Harpell underrated local legend

Anybody here know anything about St Anne de Belleview on the West Island?

I don't even know how to spell it.


If it's West of, say, Lasalle it's off my map. But there's a part of that loverly community known as Gardenvale whose progenitor I nominate for the list of underrated Montrealers.

JJ Harpell was an Irish anglo from Montreal who got some forward-thinking ideas when kicking around Europa. He returned in 1910 raving of the utopian concept of the garden city, which was an urban plan for growing suburbia at the time.

Garden cities were meant to be self-sufficient and well-organized communities which would be pleasant to live in. My Master's level Mtl history teacher Walter Van Nus hinted that I should do a paper on gardencityology. I sought glory elsewhere but learned enough to know that Gardenvale in St. Anne's was built with fond thoughts of Gardencityness.


JJ opened the Garden City Press, aka, Harpell Press, which printed and published and edited stuff. The West Island had railway service and cheap land so Harpell was one among the pioneers to bring action to the area. He purchased 10 acres and popped in housing surrounded with gardens and other rustic charms. After a few years of disorganization the whole thing started to truly hum.

J. J. Harpell made sure his workers got some higher book learnin' and sent them to evening school.

Oh, and he was friends with Mackenzie King's finance minister Fielding, who told him that the big financial power in Canada belongs to the banks and the insurance companies.

So JJ published a book attacking the insurance industry and got into buckets of hot water. He was busted for libel in 1932, but the world heard his plea.

One of his workers, Louis Even, was inspired by Harpell to unite social credit, or credit unions with religion. Even's legacy remains to this day in the Michael Journal. You've probably seen the car with the writing all over it. They're still puttering about.


Harpell sold his company to his workers in 1945 under condition that it remain a workers' co-op. In August 1984 it had 183 workers, 97 percent of whom were part owners. It was raking in $10 mill a year.

I have at a spooky book by a Montrealer put out by Harpell in the early 70s which inspired this whole line of inquiry. I'll get into it a bit later. Harpell/Garden City put out tons of books.

I'm less-than-sure what happened next. JJ Harpell seems to have suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth, as if swallowed up by aliens. The buildings were turned into condos which still bear the Harpell name, as does a community center out there. It's an unjustifiably faint legacy.

There's a Harpell Printing in Ottawa I found on the net, but the number is out of service. There's a couple of West island historians who might be able to tell me more about Harpell but so far I haven't been able to get them on the buzzard.


De toute facon, there really should be something more significant named after Harpell than what he's got now.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Montreal: where severed heads can talk


There's a theory that Saint Vincent de Paul, a friend of the first settlers of Montreal, taught them how to make a severed head talk as a way to spook out their foes. It's an art we have since lost and never rediscovered.

One of this city's first settlers had his head severed by Indians for his magnificent mane and still managed to speak up and lay a major guilt trip on his heathen headhunters who stole his dome.

On October 27, 1657, Jean Saint Pere, the faithful assistant of Paul Chomedy Sieur de Maisonneuve, who moved here from France in 1643, was beheaded, along with two other colonists.
The savages took the head of Saint Pere because he had beautiful hair. A few days later, we were told that his hairless head was following the savages and was talking to them! This head was saying, 'you believed you hurt us but you sent us to paradise instead!' Other people insisted that the head could really talk and that the savages saw it more than once.*
Marguerite Bourgeoys as well as Dollier and Vachon, who were here at the time, repeated this story.

This lovely yarn bears a similarity to a tale told by that scoundrel priest and devotee of poverty St. Vincent de Paul. He was also a close friend of the Societe de Notre-Dame de Montreal and might have passed along the secret to spooking people out with severed talking heads.

St Vincent de Paul's stories included one of having been made a slave to Muslims for two years in Tunisia where he learned the secrets of alchemy, ie: turning regular metal into gold. A Muslim named Montorio taught him this and also displayed the ability of making "a dead man's head talk by some artificial means to seduce and trick people" into believing that "Mohamed was speaking his will to them." **

So Vincent might have learned the trick of making severed heads talk and passed it along to his buddies here in Montreal, the city where having your head chopped off didn't mean that the conversation was over.

*Les ecrits de Marguerite Bourgeoys, Congregation Notre Dame de Montreal, 1964 p. 39
** Vincent de Paul, Pierre Miquel, Artheme Fayard, Paris, 1996, pp. 73-121

(Story paraphrased from Francine Bernier The Templars' Legacy in Montreal, the New Jerusalem, Frontier Publishing, 2001)

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

She's not quite dead actually....

This headstone sits on a front yard near a sidewalk in Old Longueuil. It's on a quiet street yet about half a dozen people manage to stop and stare at it every day.

But don't be too sad.

Stephanie Beaudoin is, in fact, alive and well.

She is a Montreal artist who created this tribute as a tongue-in-cheek reference to the fact that artists only become well known after death. The morbid artwork sits on her mom's lawn. Stepdad isn't all that crazy about it, but he's gotten used to it.

How Pierre Schneider became a separatist terrorist

I read..err..thumbed through Boum Baby Boom (published 2000, in French) by former FLQ bomber-turned Journal de Montreal editor, Pierre Schneider, who was among those responsible for, among other things, the terrorist bomb in a mailbox at Landsdowne and Westmount Avenue that maimed Walter Leja.

So what transformed this academically gifted kid from Outremont into a fanatical terrorist?

Pierre's mother was an alcoholic who suffered a nervous breakdown and was institutionalized at the St. Jean de Dieu (now Louis Hippolite Lafontaine) Hospital.

Pierre's ever-present maternal grandpa, Octave Laberge influenced young Pierre. Octave, a bureaucrat in the provincial civil service, was a practicing Catholic and big fan of Lionel Groulx. Pierre – whose gripes about really being named Peter – admired his grandpa Octave, who quizzed him often on the history of Quebec.

Pierre’s father Arnold understood French but only spoke English. For an unspecified reason, Pierre strongly disapproves of his father.

Arnold quit jazz music for his family, Arnold agreed to his wife’s demand stop seeing his sister. Arnold allowed his wife to be treated by quacks even though he disapproved of this route she had chosen. Pierre still speaks badly of Arnold.

And yet Arnold seems to have made great sacrifices to raise his children, something the childless, alcoholic, separatist, terrorist Pierre Schneider might not appreciate.

My father’s name was Arnold. He’d lived his whole life in Montreal without learning a word of French. He was the grandson of German immigrants, and specialized in the graphic design of coins. He’d gone to school with Irish Catholics at St. Patrick’s English school, and hadn’t learned a word of his ancestors, which I know little about. My paternal grandfather came from Germany and worked at the Canadian mint. (p. 23).

Father was a musician, he quit music under pressure from mom, who couldn’t tolerate his jazz music, which was seen in a dim light at the time... Forced to choose between his family and his art, he gave up and resigned himself to his growing family. He was an artisan in a print shop. I remember him at six a m drinking coffee and smoking, sometimes vomiting from anxiety before waiting for the bus to work.

I’d see him and realize I was ashamed of this man who made me feel so sorry for him with his old coat. I was ashamed because he couldn’t speak the language of my friends, because he had no car, no money, no cottage. Much later I realize we were living at the poverty line and had it not been for grandpa’s house we’d have been very poor, it’s sad enough to make you cry and makes me sick to the highest degree. Very young, I swore that I’d never become like him and allow myself to be exploited.

Pierre and his father Arnold would clean up the house together on weekends because mom was too sick to do it. His father took him to see his mom after she had been given electro-shock therapy. Pierre rode on the bus with his father who was devastated by the experience. Pierre's aunts gossiped that Arnold should not have brought his son Pierre to see his mom in that state.

During all those schools years in Outremont I was always aware of my ethnic origins and my German family name, which made me feel different. I admit that I felt shame for my family name which reminded me too much of my German descent, even more becuase World War II, where Hitler committed paroxysms of horror, had just finished.

How I wished to be called Tremblay or Gagnon like everybody or almost everybody in this close knit province. I even dreamt about adopting my grandparent’s name, Laberge, but changing names wasn’t as common at that time, a time when even mismatched couples had all the trouble in the world divorcing.

My differences seemed even greater because I grew up in a bourgeois neighbourhood where many rich people lived, doctors, lawyers, judges, politicians, who lived in splendid homes and mansions.

The young Pierre Scheider was working at Radio Canada, participating in the public burning of Canadian flags and looking for dynamite from construction sites to commit separatist terrorist attacks.

One day my buddy Jean-Denis had a brainstorm, which would catch the public’s attention. He announced that the official creation of the TRPQ (Revolutionary Tribute of the Quebecois People)...to judge and condemn "traitors of the nation." (p.76)

And here's what he thinks about Westmounters.

After the attack of military symbols of their domination we would now show them our determination in exploding dynamite two steps from their little castles, in the middle of this area that the residents enriched themselves at the expense of the Quebecois, who they exploited odiously as cheap labour and natural resources.

Of all the FLQ operations of that period, I think it’s the famous Westmount operation that marked the decisive moment in the popular perception of our action. It’s the one that had the most impact but also that which was the most poorly perceived, that which made us look like dangerous lunatics ready to sacrifice innocents, women and children to triumph in our cause.

Schneider then spent some time in jail and then started hanging around the apartment of Paul Aubut, a recently-divorced federalist lawyer. The eye-opening libertine parties that went on there often involved people from cops to hookers.

He was hired at Allo Police where he worked as a reported on the criminal underbelly for several years until lawyer owner Raymond Daoust died.

Throughout this he was an alcoholic and attended a lot of AA. He was married between 72 and 76 and has a ton of other heterosexual sexual activities on the go (even tho he looks awfully dainty in his photos).

Frank Cotroni once warned him over cognac not to write about the personal lives of gangsters. Dede Desjardins' henchmen were about to kill him for making a drunken insult, but resist at the last moment.

Schneider got two investors on board to set up a paper called Special Police. It gets 40,000 readers, but overhead costs are high. The Gazette noted that Schneider was a former FLQ terrorist and Schneider’s investors pull out, claiming that they can’t risk having business links to a convicted terrorist. Special Police goes bankrupt.

Schneider gets some work here and there. He impregnates his young girlfriend and is thrilled, but she aborts and he’s so devastated that he’s suicidal and gets brought in for treatment. He’s never suicidal again.

In 1985 he worked for the PQ in St. Henri but his candidate lost. He penned a book and just as it was about to run the editor died. He refused to allow a new editor to publish it and realizes that he acted irrationally.

Schneider then got work at the Journal de Montreal writing news. He grumbles about the loss of the 1995 referendum which he blames on cheats. He has a stroke, recovers, quits smoking, becomes Entertainment editor and is happy. He concludes that his only way to escape his demons is through writing.

Wilt Chamberlain, Mick Jagger and Telly Savalas in Montreal

Wilt Chamberlain's A View from Above published in 1991, drops a couple of Montreal anecdotes. I found the tome in a box at the Eco-Dump outdoor thrift shop thingy in Cote St. Paul run by a chatty white rasta woman. I was hoping to read the passage where he claims to have made love to 20,000 women. Instead I found much folksy wisdom and a couple of stories about Concordia Salus.
Wilt's nuggets include: ne'er be awed by restaurants that have photos of celebs on their walls. Nor should youze feel moral obligation to return your phone messages. (How reassuring. I take about a week before I even listen to mine.) He also writes about hanging out at the Montreal Olympics of 1976. There is one mistake in the text about Montreal, pgs, 237, 238. Ten points if you can spot it.

---

During the 1976 Olympics, Mick Jagger was sitting in the stands next to me. He had one of his flunkies take a note down to a beautiful pentathlete who was getting set to perform in her high-jumping event. The message on the note stated that he would like to take her out to dinner after the meet. I couldn’t help but think: What poor taste. This young lady was getting ready to perform in the biggest event of her life and all Mick could think of was getting lucky with her.

He had no idea that I knew the lady well, and her fiancĂ© too, who was a shot-putter. I am sure that if the shot-putter had gotten the note it would have been a great date for one rock-and-roll superstar. He still wouldn’t get no satisfaction, but his already big lips might have gotten even fatter!

Some stars shun attention while others feed on it. At this same Olympics I had a seat a few feet away from another star, this one a TV star. Because of my height, when I walked in I was noticed right away and was swamped with autograph seekers and well-wishers. The TV star a few seats away was not getting any attention at all and it was driving him crazy. So he stood up and took off his hat, displaying his shaven dome, and stuck a lollipop in his mouth. And guess what- then people began to notice Telly Savalas, the great TV hero. He was immediately besieged by fans, which seemed to make him quite happy. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Or , as he might say, “who loves ya, baby?”

Sex in advertising in Montreal 1933




That sexy ad with the two bombastic beach babes beckoning you to Brunswick is from the Montreal Daily Herald 1933 May 10, 1933.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Local semiotic utility (..as if I know what that means....)

A quick revisit to this corner in the M.o.N. where where the Sheldon Souray/Martin Brodeur restaurant sits. There's a bustling factory nearby with this aging green machine out front. Maybe it's a hole puncher. Or a lathe. Or a nose trimmer. There's no plaque to inform you. Someone inside said: "hey we could hire someone to haul this old junk off or we could just drop it out front and pass it off as a monument to the industrial era."

Right across the street you've got some impressive
pragmatic semiotic utility shiznit. A restaurant has a delivery car souped up with cement blocks and a big ass sign on the roof, as well as letters obstructing the view. If a guy shows up at your door in that sucker, please give him a tip, tell him to put it in the widows fund. You'd think they'd have learned what can happen to signs in the wind after their main sign got blown away.





















The Italian chef is watching you



I guess I should wish everybody a Merry Christmas.

I don't have much to say about the subject of Christmas except that the following does not rhyme:

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart,
The very next day you gave it away"

So here's my question du jour.

Who is this old time Italian chef who - after many decades - still adorns restaurants all over town? In the future the aliens will assume that this guy was our revered leader.

These pix were shot in a very short radius of Belanger Street around 26 th in Rosemount, Karla H. territory.

I gave the restauranteur with the rusted metal neon sign a bit of a guilt trip for allowing his sign to deteriorate. He asked me if I knew of a repairman. I told him I'd send him one. I lied. Big whoop. If you're a repairman of neon signs, there's a buck to be made up there for youze.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Peeps loves freebs: an immutable law of science


This Santa, or a guy in a ..err..burgundy, err..paisley, err..taffeta gown, with a downy white fur trim, or whatever that is, was ringing bell on Verdun Ave between Galt and Church today. He was lassoing anybody passing by to give them a Christmas basket. The standard two cardboard box freebie kit includes a buncha stuff, like cereal, soup, Polish salad dressing. If you have kids, you get a $25 gift certificate from Loblaws/Provigai. Not a bad place to sniff out a freeb if you're there tomorrow (Christmas Eve, that is).

Sheldon Souray's restaurant

This is Montreal Canadiens' hockey defenseman Sheldon Souray's restaurant, he shares it with New Jersey Devil goaltender Martin Brodeur. It's operated by Andre, who runs the larger adjacent restaurant. I haven't eaten here but an impartial friend has and said the food was excellent. Souray shows up from time to time, although at no fixed schedule. Brodeur is there more often during the offseason. Adam and the chef were there when I visited yesterday. Nice guys. It's at Henri Bourassa East and Louis Lafontaine Boulevard.





































































Montreal's palace of porn

This ramshackle door in Rosemount is in fact the local capital of porn.

It might not look like much on the outside but if the walls in that place could talk, they'd sure talk dirty.

More on this later.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Cop misdeeds of the past.


Police execution on Benny?

When Jean Belval, a cop, was busted for fraud and illegally checking out the police database in 1995, he got back at his accusers by claiming that he had taken part in countless illegal police activities. He had helped plant hashish on suspects at 35 Circle Road in Point Claire, he had perjured over 300 times.

He said cops executed prison escapees Richard Blass, who was sound asleep, and Jean-Paul Mercier rather than simply arrest them.

He also claims that the cops lied about what happened here on 15 May 1976.

Officially the story is this: cops Andre Savard, Lucien Lefebvre, Pierre Gilbert and Ross Trudel met John Slawvey in the parking garage beneath this building at 2555 Benny, corner Sherbrooke. Slawvey lived in apartment 201, they were looking for his ’74 Chrysler, it was 3:30 am. He parked and got out and Savard screamed “Police don’t move.” He answered “OK, OK.” Savard was three feet away and noticed that Slawvey then pulled out a chrome 38 and pointed it at Savard.

Savard Lefebvre and Trudel started shooting.

Slawvey, a large, 6 foot 4, 242 pounds with moustache and beard, quickly sported bloody holes in his blue floral shirt, blue pants black socks and shoes.

He died of massive internal hemorrhaging, perforations of the heart, right lung, left kidney , pancreas, small intestine. His sternum, right arm and 12 th rib were shattered by bullets. He had 20 entry wounds, 14 exit wounds. His brain wasn't hit but they weighed it anyways, it came in at 1,680 grams. His heart 475 grams.

He was separated from his wife Nancy Slawvey who was living in St. Christostome Street in Chateauguay. She identified his body at the Parthenais morgue.

According to Belval, the true story is that the cops simply brought Slawvey down from his apartment and shot him dead in the parking garage.

Slawvey had been suspected in a $3 million Brinks robbery. In June 1980 cops searched the small West End home of Fred Meilleur, an old timer in his 80s, who had been living in the same small house for 40 years. They found $290,000 buried in his basement. Cops figured that Slawvey had buried it there. Meilleur was surprised. "Had I know I was rich I wouldn't have bothered taking the welfare!"

Those photos of his building were taken this morning, with a bonus shot of the Queen of Goth who walked by as I shot. Rock on Goth Royalty!

Montreal murals


This has got to be one of my all-thyme favourite murals, it's just a bit north of here. Now I'm curious to meet the artist.

(Cliquez sur les photos pour les aggrandir).










This one is an anti-graffiti contraption more than art. Those little spray can phuckers have relentlessly plagued this section of of Demaisonneuve in NDG, which is isolated because the CPR has prevented people from crossing at the tracks. The idea is that the graffiti vandals won't wreck artwork. I'm not sure that the cure isn't worse than the disease.








I wouldn't mind having this baby across from my place. Bring me back to the great outdoors right in the city's gritty east side.










This is on the side of the shed at La Berge Park on Ash in the Point. I bumped into a group of 12 year old boys at 10 pm on a school night on Wellington, they were busy frustrating the depanneur owner, mocking his French accent and then told me how they were friends and family of the little guy. I think they told me how this little guy drowned in the Lachine Canal, I believe. Last time I mentioned him I got some peeved email from someone who knew him. Not a bad little mural, a bit saddening tho.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Leonard Cohen is still in Montreal I think


Here's Leonard Cohen, 72,
walking down the Main a few weeks ago, as shot by Barry Henderson, who has bumped into dear Lenny enough times that you might start wondering what's going on with these chance encounters. Barry saw him at the dollar store, in Portugal Park (they both nodded) then on Park (hey why not name it after Lenny instead?). Most of the insignificant pedestrians in the great man's midst are studiously ignoring him. And yet it's clearly Lenny, after all, Everybody Knows . He returned here to the New Jerusalem after getting fleeced of his life savings by manager, former lover and fellow Buddhist Kelley Lynch, (in the photo with him in happier times) who was ordered to repay him $9.5 Million US in March (not much chance of that happening). In those years Lenny was making about $600,000 US a year, and paid her 15 percent of that, about $90,000 per annum, not enough for her I guess.

Lenny moved back to his dooplecks on St. Dump, just south of Portugal Park. He got the place around 1980 from what I can tell. The woman who has been living there, watching the place for him was Michel Pagliaro's girlfriend for quite some time.

I randomly sampled Lovell's for a few of the names who lived at Lenny's place prior to his moving in and nobody seems to have stayed there very long: 1953 Mrs. Blanchet, widow of R. Lamarche, 1965 Nicos Coccinos, 1970: Pierre Dantin, 1976 Donald Robertson, 1979 A. M. O'Neil.


Lenny kept telling people that he'd move back, so it's no shocker that he's here now rather than doing that Buddhist stuff in LA. He plays with those little old man beads a lot nowadays, wears expensive looking sweatpants and frequently sports beret.

About 18 years ago my best friend spotted him at the cash at Bagels Etc and sorta made some mocking gestures behind his back. Mostly people are gentler though. A young crazy possible junkie guy talks to him outside of his place. A few weeks ago a Jewish relative of my buddy invited Lenny to give a little chat at the synagogue down the street. Lenny implied that he'd show up but didn't go, who could blame him?

So the unspoken rule is: don't bug the guy but a single photo of him from up front would surely have enough value to be worth a little discomfort on his part, no?

Lastly, Lenny was recently invoked as someone who revered Ben's Delicatessan. From the old documentary footage I've seen - and the young Cohen loved to mug in front of a TV camera - Cohen's fascination with Ben's had mostly to do with the fact that it was open late and one of the campaigns Lenny had going in his youth was to champion nocturnal living.

New Duplessis Orphans handout still not enough

This morning the Charest Liberals announced that they’d give out another $26 million, about $15,000 each to a remaining 1,700 (some estimates say it’s only 700) Duplessis Orphans left out of the previous settlement which gave a similar amount to people who were tossed illegally into insane asylums during their youth, for no good reason. The new batch were forced into farm slavery or sent to the Huberdeau Brothers of the Sacred Heart, where two of three were falsely given psychiatric labels.

I spoke to Rod Vienneau of Joliette, perhaps the single most knowledgeable person on this issue, I put his quotes in blue.

“It is a criminal act to take a child and put him in a mental institution. That is the worst possible prison. Why weren’t there criminal charges pressed in this case? Because they’re saving their asses.”

"How come today these people are Duplessis Orphans now but they weren’t in 2001? Because (Duplessis Orphan Committee President) Bruno Roy and the government divided them. It’s easier to deal with them that way."

Many will still be getting nothing, such as Paul St-Aubin because Bruno Roy and the government decided in 2001 that 1964 would be the cutoff point. "So only cases considered are those that happened from 1935 to 1964, which was the end of the Bedard commission. St-Aubin’s case (he was lobotomized and kept in farm labour and told that his mother was dead) took place after that so they wont give him anything. The 1964 cutoff date is another lie that was created. The nuns were still owners of their hospitals until 1974 so there’s a period of 10 years where the orphans are not recognized."

The PR guy Carlo Tarini, President Bruno Roy, their lawyer and other bureaucrats will likely get a big percentage of the $26 million once again, plus the bureaucrats, who last time included: “Francine Fournier, from UNESCO, she was the President and was getting $1,100 a day, and then the lawyer, named Lemoyne, he was getting $1,000 a day, and Jean Gaudreault, who was the psychiatrist, he was the one in 1961 his first day on the job he saw a child less than 5 years old in a straitjacket chained to the pipes, so they gave him a job at $1,000 a day, all these numbers are in the Bernard Landry decree.”

The new payouts came without any discussion or consultation. “They don’t want to consult because these people have falsely been given a label as mentally ill. This case should be handled by the Minister of Health (it’s handled by the Minister of Citizenship and Immigration Michele Courchesne). It has to do with the hospitals experimental drugs and medication and lobotomies. It has nothing to do with immigration.”

“What the Duplessis Orphans need is a concrete settlement. I think that after years of being degraded and tortured and everything they went though, they should be allowed to have money to buy themselves a home, a car, a vacation. Why are they still out picking in the garbage cans and asking for money on the streets? And they’re still afraid to speak up. Many are afraid to talk about it. And when they get sick they don’t go to the hospital. Because of the false label that they’ve been given, they are fearful to go to hospitals, fearful that they’ll be sent back to the psychiatric institution. Here it is 2006 and what government is looking after this? None. They’re all just looking to get re-elected."

Lachine Canal wildlife



Barry Henderson, photographer, musician, rock trivia expert and friend, took this photo this summer on the Lachine Canal. He was impressed that a bright red fox was hanging out here, but when he mentioned this fact to a park staffer a few minutes later, she just shrugged as if the place is overrun with 'em.
.........Meanwhile this stump is the only thing remaining from a series of about six trees, all demolished by sharp-toothed, big tailed beavers. The canal walls were repaired and it became more difficult for the beave to climb from the water to the shore. They chomped their way through most of the brush and have, we assume, moved on.


Bearing our souls thru garbage






























This miry slough is such a place as cannot be mended: it is the descent whither the scum and filth that attends conviction for sin doth continually run, and therefore it is called the East Ende of Montreal.

Notice the treasures that lie aground in this narrow perimeter, (or is it a circumference or radius?) parking tickets tossed simply tossed onto the ground, condom wrappers, beer cans, cigarette packs (I didn't even bother to post the shot of Abandoned Cigarette Pack Lawn) and wonderful tiny bags that once held enough medicine to keep the Man from Glad from getting old and grey. Hang out here and learn how to party.

Crescent Street 1973

The glory of this photo. Click on it to see it big. It's Crescent below St. Catherine in the summer of 1973. The paint job kills me. It looks a bit like the Houston Astros uniform or the Flag of West Germany. It now contains - among other things - such watering holes as Hurley's and Brutopia (at the time of this photo Brutopia's premises were filled by The Baltic Delicatessen and Queen Harlequin Hand Crochet). The impressive-looking Hair People : Haute Coiffeur pour Hommes is gone, premises now occupied by an agency where they help you clear your criminal record (don't ask me how I know). Here's some more listings from the Lovells of what was what. Mostly these were apartments with, apparently, amazing parking opportunities. There's also been a commercial parking lot across from that building for at least 45 years.

There was also a major waterbed store in there as well.

A scan of addresses from a decade prior shows that in 1962 noted early gay pickup joint The Scandinavian Cafe was somewhere in the middle of this block (not sure which door). It was at 1183 Crescent in 1962 but by the time this photo was snapped those premises had become The House of Rock and the Aquarius Sauna.

In the early 60s there were scant businesses on Crescent, even right up to Demaisonneuve, which soon after became synonymous as a meat market of cheesy pickup joints.

With the smoking ban, dip in tourism, aging of the population, increased telecommuting, etc, it's not impossible that many could revert back to another type of vocation.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Laps dancing downtown!



These are people from Lapland, which is somewhere up in Finland. They wear colourful clothing and use reindeer as beasts of burden. They must also have some interesting dance moves, as a downtown club appears to be featuring their traditional dancing, as evidenced by the sign taken here by JD, Laps Dancing $10.

Synch swimming groupies take note



Most of the seven pools at the Big O are undergoing plenty repairs so all swimmers are redirected to these two adjacent pools. The one you'll crawl in mèsure 25 metres, that's the distant one in this foto. The nearer pool is often occupied by Canada's Synchronized Swimming Team (click on foto for close-up).

So if you go down to swim around noon pretty muche any daye - (it's about $ four fuggen bucks) you'll be splashing nearby some pretty fancy future Olympians from across Canada with an international mission to watery future fame. Bring waterproof paper for graf's of all your water ballet stars.

I am also told they're very young so I don't mean to encourage you in any weird way.

Annika the diva


Annika Gravenor sang the Grade 2 lead in the Christmas show at her school. Way to go kid!




Gilbarco pump an unappreciated treasure



This vintage Gilbarco air pump at a downtown indoor parking lot has clearly hung on that wall filling tires with air for a long time.

A very, very l-o-n-g time indeed.

In fact it's so old that it's worth something like $500 or more on E-Bay.

It's in a building that was a historic skating rink. It was transferred into a garage for a company owned by a sorta memorable Montreal West father-of-many and business icon with the initials TT who died much too young.

That's enough hints. If anybody can guess where that it is, let's hear from you. (Thx JD again).

Marche Montreal - local talent on display

X-mas shoppers take note: the Marche Montreal at Pine and the Main has the most unique stuff anywhere. It was set up by a sparkling duo of female entrepreneurs including the lovely Kafi, plus her friend from NYC. The place showcases the works of local designerz or anybody with the $350 or so required to rent a spot. Support budding local talent and buy a belt, or a pair of eff-me-boots. You might boast that you sported a certain designer's wares before they became a huge industry.


Young Turk shout out





You see a car like this and the driver seems cool, say "merhaba!" (hello) for it is undoubtedly a Turk.

The car owner is proudly proclaiming his Turkishness. This beater was parked near Montreal's only Turkish grocery store, Marche Istanbul on the northwest corner of Cremazie and St Lawrence

The symbol is called a "tugra" (pronounced too-RAH -- the "g" is silent) in Turkish. it's an Imperial Ottoman seal, the emperor's signature, if you like. They changed a bit from reign to reign.

It remains a popular symbol among young Turks. Lots of kids get tattoos of it.
Here's a wiki link to a colourful one. (Thx to JD for foto and text)

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Montreal's first long haired man


I have the distinction of being the only person in history to have taken an unflattering photo of the uberphotogenic Armand Vaillancourt. I was lucky enough to be invited into the great big house of this eccentric artistic genius on Esplanade across from Fletcher`s Field. He is a generous soul, particularly kind to children. You can spot his house as the one surrounded by a wrought iron fence protecting all sorts of strange contraptions. Vaillancourt, who has been one of the leading Canadian sculptors (or should I say Quebecois sculptors, unfortunately he's a separatist, but of the UFP variety, not so bad).

Vaillancourt is also known as the boyfriend of
Suzanne, the nutty chick immortalized by Leonard Cohen in the 60s.

Lenny was lyrically reverential to her in a platonic way, as a sort of a tip of the hat to her then-boyfriend Vaillancourt. (AV now has a much younger red-haired wife and a young child). I sorta think little Lenny might have had a secret man-crush on AV here, who might also be Montreal's first long-haired man back in the early 60s.

Vaillancourt tells me he had to be ready to fight for your long hair. At least once a guy yanked him by the hair from behind on St. Catherine, near the Bay. Another rare long-hair from that mandatory crew cut era was the Great Antonio. One day Antonio saw Vaillancourt across the street, saw the resemblance and ran over, begging him to join him as his tag team partner for a wrestling match that Antonio was fighting later that evening. Vaillanoucourt, who is not big but very strong, regretfully declined.

Monday, December 18, 2006

The city's best...or worst..signage?


This joint at around Prefontaine and St. Catherine honours black Montrealers with its name, which is "a derogatory term for an African American...it gained notoriety as a racial pejorative by association with the children's book The Story of Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman, in 1898. It was the story of a boy named Sambo who outwitted a group of hungry tigers."(Wikipedia). I rang up and an English speaking Greek guy told me he didn't know where the name came from and he's only been there 2 weeks.


This three-figure baybee graces the Bar St. Laurent 2, which shares the name with another teahouse lower down. (In fact, come to think of it, that one was renamed the Stupider..err..the Jupiter Room for a while. Back when it was Bar St. Laurent it eventually became a skanky joint full of Colombians on a powdered courage boost who'd pinch your girlfriend's bum behind your back.) I met the owner of this place further up at St. Viateur several fingers ago, it was a mid-aged Portuguese. But his clientele is Africain. Not a whole lotta beautiful folks on that sign. Truth in advertising? I think not.

East end St. Catherine again:
Gesundheit!


611 De Courcelle












You know you might not be in the best area when there's bullet holes on the street signs.

That might just be the case at De Courcelle just below the railway tracks. There once stood a small home here where Napoléon Dubois, as was the custom, raised several kids with his wife. Eleven in total. It was poor then, and it's poor now. But it was particularly nasty until 1939 when things started picking up a bit with war spending. But Napoleon stayed poor. He worked in the 1950s for $25 a week at the Black Horse Tavern. His kids would later explain, "When we came home and were hungry they'd give us a mustard sandwich, or molasses." "Our clothing was worn out and patched up, at school they'd give us the finger, and taunt us." The kids developed a series of scams just to stay fed. They'd get a few cents from the soldiers hanging around the train tracks near their home and they'd go up to the Pom Bakery on St. Catherine where you could buy cakes and bread, already one day old, on sale. They'd buy and sell whatever they could. They'd grab change left under the welcome mat for the milkman at Westmount homes.

The younger Dubois weren't as interested in pursuing a pious life of poverty. These conditions led to the rise and fall of the Dubois Brothers, one of the city's most famous and brutal crime families. Grisly details to follow.

The area still maintains a bit of a crazy vibe. I went down a couple of years ago to talk to residents of De Courcelle, trying to track down a rumour about somebody shooting randomly in the area near Notre Dame and indeed a couple of people confirmed that it's the kind of place that such things happen. It's pretty much a pure-laine French Canadian place and it was even more so in the 1950s as this pdf proves.

Your constitutional right to park your wreck

Parking a defunct old shitbox in front of your home is your constitutional right. Use it or lose it. If I had a driveway I'd certainly arrange to have as many of these babies as I could fit. It's a family tradition. At my massive childhood home at 580 Grosvenor in Westmount my father parked a rusted orange Datsun that would obviously never roll a foot. He wanted announce that he couldn't even afford to fix that car, so don't even bother trying to collect bills from him or ask for handouts. The black car here is parked in front of a wreck of a house on Turcot West of St. Remy. The house is practically falling down but the solarium is recently done and those ain't cheap. The station wagon sexmobile arouses car-o-philes on Decarie just up from St. James, facing the superhospital, on a strip of crappe car repair places that have - I am told - been snapped up by ethnic Chinese betting that the value of the land will skyrocket with the new hospital there. There is an ongoing debate about whether land near hospitals rises in value or simply goes the way of Cabot Park and gets invaded by undesirable derelicts. Hopefully the former rather than the latter.

Michael Fish still lookin' good


The legendary Michael Fish is known as the central character responsible for helping organize the defence of heritage buildings here in the 1970s. There were a few defeats but slowly the tide changed. At my party the other night another visitor came up and said, "I haven't seen you since the St. Norbert sit in." That's just 34 years ago. In 1972 Fish and others, including former Mayor Jean Dore's top lieutenant John Gardner, who later turned bad by rubber stamping the Overdale demolitions, all slept in at a series of sumptuous greystones on the south side of St. Norbert, just south of Sherbrooke and the Main. The buildings were senselessly demolished later and the spot stayed bare for decades. Many other such tragedies were to follow - surely the worst being the Van Horne Mansion demolition by David Azrieli - until architect Fish and his Save Montreal helped grow some appreciation of the architectural treasures in this city.

Entrance into the other universe sits on Verdun Avenue
















This building on the side of the Marche Tongdga building at Verdun and 2nd may look innocuous but that faux moat painted on the side is anythingbut. Seconds after I put my camera down, that bridge actually dropped down and the woman walked in, never to be seen again.



The dish on Nish


Robin Nish is leaving town, moving to some small town in BC to become, as she puts it, a ski bum. Robin is a veteran executive of the local needletrade industry which was wiped out by NAFTA and has been leading the theatre course at the Thomas More Institute with little ol' me for five and a half years. We've seen over 120 plays together, some good others less so. She'll be replaced at least for the next little while, by Barry Cole who I also quite admire. The course this year has been a smash, we've had to limit the number of participants to 30 although more wanted in. Several are taking the course for university credits and there are many very bright minds in the class. The photo of myself with Robin was taken by Alex Megelas, a socially committed community worker who also organized Wolf Parade. Many other equally accomplished and clever people grace the class. Anyway, as you can see Robin is holding a book called The Empty Space and indeed it will seem very much that way without her.



Hale Hakala

This is a matchbox from the Hale Hakala bar, a local landmark from long ago. On May 27 1959 an event at this Tiki bar in Old Montreal, Notre Dame just west of McGill Street, launched one of the most controversial decisions in Canada's legal history. The Hale Hakala was a rocking place, perhaps the first in the city to feature live rock'n'roll bands. The legal fallout of the disaster of that night colours our justice landscape to this day. I'll provide a complete account with photos of it a bit later.

Debunking time...

I plan to spend some time challenging a local myth which insults the dignity of some victims of a terrible criminal. It's one that's been perpetuated way too long.

It started with Norma Vaillancourt, 21, a student from St. Anne des Monts, in the Gaspe, born 6 January 1947 to Bertrand Vaillancourt and Pierrette Levesque. She moved to 2591 Davidson apartment 16 and had a boyfriend named Michel Bolduc. She was 5'2" and in the summer of 1968 and tanned. I've corresponded with someone who knew her and he says she was a very special girl and had been planning to return to Gaspe to teach.

She was found dead in her apartment with the ends of her breasts cut and bleeding. There was much blood around her mouth and her bottom lip had been badly bitten, presumably as she struggled against her attacker. She had been savagely raped. There was no alcohol or drugs in her system. There was no sperm at the scene. She was strangled to death. This is the official police statement of the man who found her dead body.

I’m been a teacher for about six years and I’ve known Miss Norma Vaillancourt for about one year, from when she was taking courses at the Two Mountains Regional. The classes started last year near 2 July 1967 and finished about 6 August 1967. She left Two Mountains Regional around 6 August 1967 and she returned 2 July 1968 to take some classes at the St. Emile School at 3700 Sherbrooke East. I met her a few times during those classes and at a certain moment, I can’t give an exact date, she came to see me in my office and we looked at the La Presse newspaper to try to find an apartment near the St. Emile School. Yesterday morning, which was Monday am, she asked if I could cash a cheque for her since the postal strike was on and, not having enough on me to cash the cheque, and I can’t remember how much it was for, I gave her $5.00 and told her that I’d go to my bank at lunchtime to get the rest of the money to give her $20.00. At noon I didn’t have the time to get to the bank to get the cash to give her $20.00 in the afternoon and so in the afternoon of 22 July 1968 I went to her classroom to see Miss Vaillancourt and I put them in an envelope and around 3:55 pm I left the school to bring her the money and at the same time to tell her that I was unable to get to the bank to get the money she wanted. Once at 2591 Davidson Street, apartment 16, I knocked on the door and it didn’t reply. I left and I met her as she was walking home. I entered her apartment, she had bought some soft drinks and she’d offered me and I accepted. Around 4:25 I left. I know that her boyfriend was supposed to come during the course of the evening. I went home and arrived there at 4:50 p.m. Last night, Monday 22 July at 7:30 pm, I went to the Caisse Populaire on Notre Dame in Pointe aux Trembles which is where I took out the sum of $60.00 That morning, Tuesday 23 July I didn't see her in class and when the professor gave me the attendance list I noticed she had been absent. Around 4:30 pm I went to her home and knocked, there was no reply and the door was open a little, I pushed the door and discovered a stretched out dead body on the bed. She was completely naked. I went to knock at the janitor's and there was no reply, I tried to see if there was any police nearby and I drove to the fire station on Hochelaga to tell them to call the police. I returned to the scene and got there at the same time as the police

- Jean-Marie Bouchard 14275 Dorchester Pointe aux Trembles.


Friday, December 15, 2006

The Great Hot Dog eater....

Ol' buddy Patrick Gelinas sent this legendary photo, taken by his photographer father in 1975 for what's now known as L'Actualite.

The photo changed the course of history.

It was snapped because the accompanying article by Jean Pare noted that the small National Assembly apartment that Bourassa inhabited was "equipped for cooking hot dogs, which he loves," and sometimes offered guests. Bourassa allowed Gelinas to shoot this snap because he wanted to perpetuate a populist image.
Four months later Pierre Trudeau was in Quebec City and made a courtesy call on the Premier near lunchtime. A TV reporter asked Trudeau whether he was bringing his own lunch and Trudeau replied jokingly, "Yes, it seems as though he eats nothing but hot dogs, that guy." The good-natured quip soon morphed into Trudeau's condescending dismissal of Bourassa as a "mangeur de hot dogs," which Bourassa never bothered countering. Some thought him weak for not blasting back. The incident was seen to contribute to Bourassa's subsequent election loss and the first election victory of the Parti Quebecois a few months later.

The ethics of travel romance

A Montreal friend with a public profile recently visited South America and met this lovely young sprite and the young duo shared an instant chemistry. They were firing up the Bunsen burner and he was checking out her periodic chart. He could only snap her here furtively because a previous local boyfriend was also on the scene. So should gringo disrupt the natural, organic time-honoured social customs of South American scheme of relationships that has been working there for centuries by persisting in pursuing her affections, or should he back off and allow the previous boyfriend have her, who, for all I know paid three oxen and a dozen chickens for her?

$5 store at St. Pat and Bridge





Heard raves about this Five dolla store at St Patrick and Bridge. It's jammed with doodads that people will think you paid sixteen bucks for and feel bad that they only got you a three dollar present, you'll be able to leverage that 13 dollar gift differential guilt for a year or two. It's run by French Canadians, whose profits benefit us all because they don't get sent to Korea to support Kim Il Jong's re-election, they'll pour their profits into the local economy, trips to the drive in and dinners at all-you-can scarfe buffets and that drips back your way.


Ou sont les neiges d'antan?

I'm 44 today. Yikes. Practically ready for the boneyard. I'm having a party with about 30-40 folks coming around 8. My wife is cooking up snacks. The Duchess of Oxford Avenue is a great cook. If you've been overlooked, email me and I'll let you know the details. I'll neither confirm nor deny the rumour that Jessica Alba is flying in for this event.

I was about 29 when this snap was shot at Neil Grigor's wedding in Toronto. Bernard De Neeve of Mascouche and Westmount is in the middle. After years answering phones at St. Mary's Hospital, DJing a dance music show at CKUT and hanging around Business nightclub, Bernie returned to cegep at age 28 and took a few years to get a degree in electrical engineering which lead him to a fine career in LA and then Greensboro. He remains, amazingly, an eligible bachelor.
The mustachioed guy Craig Adamson of Ormstown who did a Geology degree at Con U and then moved to Toronto with his wife a few years ago. He has since become a single father to a tiny beautiful little girl. Two fantastic guys.

New Orleans calling

You might ask why this New Orleans business magazine writer is wearing a gypsy scarf at the office? Well this particular one is a Montrealer from Mile End who drifted down to the Big Uneasy one year prior to Katrina, a nice little storm that cost her a roof. Kathryn Morton is a foodie at heart, and loves to write restaurant and fine dining stuff. She confesses that her favourite all time job was " grilling up lamb cevapi behind the bar at Cafe Sarajevo on Clark St. (don't know if it's still open...)" Alas it shut down a few months ago when the owner got an offer he could not refuse.

"Living in New Orleans in 2006," she reports, "is like living in Montreal in 1985. You can feel well-off living on very little. You can also feel really, really bummed out about the idea of 'progress.'"

Pop Art explosion


Roger Katch is an industrial designer who came from Europe in 1966 to find work in a booming Montreal on the eve of the World's Fair. His tip is to buy into pop art. He says that loft-dwellers can't get enough of the stuff and it's starting to explode. He has an art exhibit ongoing near the Mies Van Der Rohe Esso station on Nun's Island. Thx to JD for the foto.

The Candian Pacific Railroad hates Montrealers




The top story last coupla days was a huge blaze on Regent and Upper Lachine. I peeked over there and it was in fact just a tiny little mishap. Quel bore.




There's a much bigger ongoing story happening right there. When you get to the end of Regent you naturally want to continue north towards Demaisonneuve which is very close. But you're fenced in by the CPR. It's just about 60 feet away to the other side and there's hardly any trains that go by, but you simply can't go through.

Traditionally people would snip holes in the fence and simply walk through that way. Nobody got hurt. It was implicitly accepted. There's no record of anybody getting killed near these tracks. It's safer to walk over a train track than walk across a street. In both directions you can see the train from hundreds of yards away. About five years ago the CPR obtained the power from the province to ticket people who cross. It's crazy but true. Simply going this way could land you a hefty $140 fine.

Luckily there's a tunnel under the tracks one block over at Melrose, just about 50 feet away. Another fence. This guy living on Melrose has somehow managed to fence off the laneway that runs alongside the train track fence.




So rather than cross the 60 feet, you've got to walk 500 feet to Upper Lachine, another 250 feet to Melrose and another 500 feet to enter the tunnel, which has stairs and is difficult for those with bikes, or baby carriages. Finally there's another 250 feet to get back from Melrose to Wilson. Instead of just walking 60 feet, you have to walk 1,200 feet, almost a quarter mile. At an average walking speed of 3 miles an hour, that's an extra five minutes walking to do what you could do in about 15 seconds. People will drive rather than do this. It's a crime against society. I'm amazed that people of Regent haven't complained about this.




(a propos de rien. This triplex along the way, on Melrose was going for $87,000 in 2001 and I had my eye on buying it 'cept my would-be financier claimed that he didn't have the $19,000 it would have cost, citing a bogus story about not having the cash to lend. He ended up losing a ton of cash in the dot com bubble while I would've made $200 k flipping this sucker.)






Finally you get to the tunnel, which was equipped with a cameras and a big screen in case you worried about people lurking down there. It was unveiled with much fanfare a couple of years ago. It has barely worked since.



On a good day the Melrose tunnel isn't strewn with garbage and stinking of urine. They used to have one like this going Park Avenue at Fletcher's Field, but they wisely got rid of it. It's a pretty demeaning way to get across. The current city councillor Marcel Tremblay was elected on the promise of making more ways to cross the tracks but he doesn't even bother promising that anymore.




NDG's politicians had a window of opportunity to fix this problem. Wilson is being extended from Upper Lachine to the tracks. It would have been easy to extend a street over the tracks with a gate to make sure people don't get run over. This suggestion was raised by Peter McQueen at a borough council meeting but Borough Mayor Michael Applebaum said he would refuse to sacrifice two units of "affordable housing" for this.Affordable housing is a totally b.s. term of course, because expensive houses are affordable to the rich, so mansions are also affordable housing. They actually mean, cheap shitty housing. My theory as to why St. Raymond's aka lower NDG suffers such bad administration: residents - largely working class Italians - practice political stoicism. They're always the easiest target, as in such examples as Goose Village and the Decarie Expressway. If you don't keep an eye out for your community, you're a sitting duck and politicians will screw you bad.


Gravity is greedy


















I've not been in top-notch form this week. Yesterday during my creaky stroll through NDG I was stooped over staring at the ground rather than my usual upwards tilt and quickly learned that gravity sucks its chosen treasures downwards. I found a gargoyle clock, a bumper and an Asian porn tape all within a one block radius.

Do you have the means to commit suicide?

Y'know when you're a kid and somebody makes that ol' joke about how they're going to get you committed to an insane asylum? Or was that only me that got hit with that one?

It's not as far fetched as you might imagine.


Two years ago Andre Blais, 43, of Pointe aux Trembles, got really really drunk. Twenty four beers drunk. And he sniffed a line or two. When he returned home he got lonely so he called up Tel-Aide. A recording said that the service was not available and it offered another number for those emergency cases inclined to suicide. Blais, the drunken welfare recipient, didn't entirely grasp that he was now dialing the Suicide-Action line. The attendant asked him a couple of questions, such as : "
do you have the means to commit suicide?" His incoherent utterances weren't satisfactory, so the attendant told him, "we're sending an ambulance to your home within five minutes." Blais was incredulous. "What? No, I'm okay, I'm not suicidal."

Soon the ambulance people came with cops and brought him to the Santa Cabrini hospital in St. Leonard where he was forced to lie on a cot in the hallway for 15 straight hours.

He decided that was enough, he unplugged his IV and hauled tail back home.

When he arrived home it was a major fiasco. He soon found 15 cop cars outside his home and the cops were banging on his door. They marched into his home as if he were a dangerous terrorist. They found him terrified, cowering in the closet and took him away again, this time to a hard core insane asylum, the Louis Hypolite Lafontaine Hospital.

This time he was quickly evaluated and released. Blais later fileda complaint to the police ethics committee but it was refused.

When I told this story to a friend who reports for La Presse, he told me that he heard a similar story from a dancer at Cleopatra's. Her boyfriend called the suicide patrol on her needlessly and she was hauled away, forced to pay $150 in ambulance fees for her troubles.

Since 1994 the ambulance staff have the power of discretion over whether you're suicidal or not. They decide by looking at you upon arrival. Suicide Action hauls off about three callers a day based on their calls. They say that they have a bulletin board covered with thank you notes, so mostly people are happy with what they do.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

The father of Montreal disco


Alfie Wade of Sete, France, is the father of disco in Montreal. He was everywhere back in the late 1960s when nightclubs as we know them exploded into a huge deal here. Alfie rigged up all the Crescent Street clubs with the same powerful sound systems that he had seen in New York. He was very influential in promoting jazz music here and his million plus good friends include Oliver Jones. Around 1969, newspaper writers from various cities would descend on Montreal partytown and Wade would invariably become the focus of these articles, as he was the ultimate guide to the nightclubs. Wade moved to Harlem where he fought for the advancement of the living standards of black people, he was no fan of Al Sharpton. He has since taken his fine mind to Sete, France where he lives a fantastic life by the sea and promotes jazz music in his town. His wife Anne de Chabaneix is an accomplished painter as was her father. They dropped by my place a couple of years back and not only is she gracious and intelligent, but truly a bombshell. Here's a painting she did of him not long ago.

Book Launched!

This is Talleen at her book launch last Friday. Her new livre Postcards is a series of eight stories.She used to live behind Triangle Park on Sherbrooke in NDG. I was invited to her house for dinner about 18 years ago with a buncha others. Thanks for that. She was in the phone book under her first name. (I am so jealous of people who have good phone book listings. Chris Hand was long the last in the phone book as Zeke Zzzyzs, or something. A Montreal journalist named Boulanger told me he's listed as General Boulanger, in honour of the French general who took a run at taking over France before killing himself on his lover's grave. I did my MA on that. French politics, not people who play with their name in the phone book. I've always reckoned my quality of life would be better if I were named Billy Joe, for reasons I'll explain another time.) Talleen is a talented, well-known artist and her book was launched not in the way Gagliano's book was launched, straight into the garbage pail, but launched in a good way at the Big Library, otherwise known as a place where bored hormone-crazy youths go to toss lingering sex-starved glances at each other. Thanks to my brother JD for the photo.

The guy who sells those old pliers and fridges

Here's the Waverly auctioneer from the three or four times a year Rev Qbc auction I wrote about. My brother JD shot this on a still camera that shoots video at 60 frames per second, a feature you might consider springing for on your next cam.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

PQ secrets


Former federalist Liberal provincial Premier Robert Bourassa was one of the founders of the separatist Parti Quebecois. Sorta.

According to an old timer friend who knows where all the bones were buried, Bou-bou attended many of the first meetings of the fledgling party, which were held at a Church on Cote St.Catherine in Outremont.

Another little known fact: when Rene Levesque ran down drunken war veteran Edgar Trottier and dragged him 140 feet to his death at McDougall and Cedar at 4:15 am on February 6, 1977 , he wasn't - as was reported - actually driving. His secretary, main squeeze Corinne Cote was. He claimed he was at the wheel to avoid scandal. He was already estranged from his wife and divorced officially two years later. How did Trottier get to be lying in the middle of the street anyway? Cops got sick of seeing him drunk downtown and drove him up to Cedar and dumped him there. Levesque and lady company were drunk driving of course, even though Yves Michaud - who had been at the same party as them - claimed that Levesque had not been drinking.

And lastly: Levesque at the end was so bitter against his bad treatment at the hands of the PQ grassroots that he reportedly opined "I regret having started that party in the first place."

Montreal's strangest thing....
















I promised yesterday that I'd share the strangest thing I've ever seen in this town.

Here 'tis.

The Marollys, a devout Catholic couple from Pakistan live in a home in the West Island full of statues which get inexplicably covered in oil all day long. The thick, clear oil descends off the figures in such quantities that they require a small drain pipe to catch the viscous fluid into a glass jug at the end of the coffee table.

Maureen Marolly and Clayton Marolly claim that the icons started "sweating" in October 1994.

The pictures on the wall bear a multitude of holy patterns that look like Jesus' face and other such things when you look closely.

They have a daughter with Down's Syndrome. Mom says people report to having Holy Visions of the girl. They make miraculous recoveries from grave illness after witnessing this vision.

They welcome bus loads of visitors from the States and give away loot bags of religious pictures and vials of the special oil. They accept no donations.

There was so much oil in the air when I sat on their plastic-covered couch that after about an hour I found it difficult to grip my pen in order to take notes.

I am the only journalist to have been permitted to report at this place. Don't expect others to follow. They heartily disapproved of my article, which took a skeptical tone.

"You didn't come in faith," Mr. Marolly complained. I replied that I did indeed come in faith, a faith in science.

Dad on a rooftop


I've been known to drone on about my father. He was born in South Wales, raised in Winnipeg and moved to Montreal where he became a PR guy for Vernon Cardy, who ran the Mount Royal Hotel. Dad then pulled off a couple of highly unlikely real estate coups and fathered seven children.

Here's a shot of him on a Regina rooftop long ago doing I'm not sure exactly what.

He died in the early 90s, aged 82 or so, under cloudy circumstances which I'll get into at another time. He was well into his 50s when I was born, so he passed down the crotchety old man genes to me.

Colin Gravenor would frequently boast that he was "the first player to throw a forward pass in the Western Canadian Football League." Is that a big deal?

I on the other hand was the first to throw a bowl of salad against a wall in anger on Nun's Island, prompted by my old girlfriend Catherine who was henpecking me while I was trying to make out my two seconds as an extra on the ill-fated Montreal-shot TV series Mount Royal. I was cleaning tomato off the wall when I missed my half second of TV fame.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Chained to New York


I mentioned here that the charming Bonnie, a fine young woman from New York City (on the left) was looking for someone who could help figure out how to move to Montreal. So far no answer from anyone. How dreadfully disappointing. She's an educated professional and I think she'd make a lovely addition to our fair city. Write me at megaforce at gmail if you have any job suggestions here.

New Iga on Notre Dame in St. Hank



I showed this building in a discussion about the demise of the Maison Egg Roll a few weeks ago, but since Wednesday 6 December 2006 the joint has been dolled up and turned into an IGA. Quite posh. There will be a Provigai opening at Claremont and Demaisonneuve, south side, in a while. Click on the vid below for a walk thru da new IGA.

124 year old biz on Jean Talon....










Check out this joint at the corner of Gene Tallin and Snow Slope Boulevard. It's Smith Brothers Granite, since 1882. It's the oldest monument maker in the city. I rung up the place to inveztigate and was told that it started as a family business on Bleury, then moved on to Ducharme in Outremont and they were forced to move into this former CIBC bank building in 1993 when the industrial park closed. Elliot Smith died in 1989, his son lives out in Banff and the daughter had no inclination to run the place, so Smith's associate Joseph took over.
We had a nice morbid cemetery chat. Joseph, the boss, agrees that vandalism and theft of monuments in graveyards is a problem, particularly those with bronzed bits.

-Joseph knows the incredible story of the Trubiano headstone. Trubiano was a successful grocer who fought to put an unbelievably garish illuminated, revolving miniature shopping cart as his headstone at the St. Francoise D'Assise boneyard It was ultimately refused.

-Joseph doesn't like Drapeau's black granite monument in the Catholic cemetery. Even Drap's wife came to dislike, blaming it on sales staff pushing their own designer on her.

-Unlike me Joseph thumbs-downery to the Robert Bourassa gumby-legs monument in the Catholic Cemetery, "It says nothing to me, it's two pieces of granite carved in a certain way."

- He says to watch out for cemetery staff pushing headstone makers they had business arrangements with onto you. "They put a bug in your ear."

"I see a lot of memorials manufactured today. There’s no quality there. They’re basically going after a price and not something of quality. Ten, 20 yrs down the road, those monument wills still be new but will look bad."

I never had the pleasure of meeting the man who made his true negative feelings about his Nissan known to the world by painting it with such descriptions as Shitbox and parking it on the highest-traffic section of St. Catherine. I'm told that he aggressively sought media attention concerning his plight but newspapers are fueled by car ads dontchaknow and they shied away from covering him. Too bad, I love a loon also have a bit of a fetish for cars handpainted by their owners. This snap was taken a coupla years back and I doubt if this car is still on the road but if anybody spots it, lemme know.

The strangest thing I've ever seen

This Montreal home is the place where I saw the strangest thing I've ever seen in Montreal. It's probably still happening right now. Bear with me as I'm a bit run down today and freakishly busy too. I'll post the bizarre details here a little later on. Peek back to read about it, you won't be disappointed.

Houdini mystery never dies


That's legendary Montreal author Don Bell on the left and his kids Daniel Bell and Valerie Bell who stood in for him at the book launch at the McGill bookstore (a much better place to launch a book than Paragraphe) of his posthmous The Man Who Killed Houdini, published by Simon Dardick's and Nancy Morelli's Roy Street-based Vehicule Press. Bell Sr. was best known for a series of brilliant essays about the city in the early 70s, published in Weekend Magazine . They were later collected into a must-read book called Saturday Night at the Bagel Factory which landed him the Leacock Award for humour. The chapter on local layabout"Do Nothing" Baker is very clever and that chapter detailing the real life rivalry between Jockey Fleming and another scalper at Peel and St. Catherine, is perhaps my favourite all-time Montreal essay. Don was slowed by emphysema and opened a book store in the country and spent many years researching the possible conspiracy behind the incident in Montreal where a young religious McGill student named Jocelyn Whitehead punched Harry Houdini in the stomach, causing his death. In his highly-recommendable book, Bell details how Jocelyn Whitehead was a loner who subsequently starved himself to death. Well this is all news because a new book The Secret Life of Houdini: The Making of America's First Superhero, written by U.S. authors William Kalush and Larry Sloman suggests that Houdini's murder was part of a huge and elaborate conspiracy to silence the escape artists who had upset people due to his habit of debunking phony spiritualists. I'd just love to hear what Bell had to say about this.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Tommy Hilfiger sale at Park and Gene Talin


Excellent clothing sale going on in room 208 of the last door on the east side of Park just south of Jean Talon. It's open from 9 to 5 Monday to Friday and 9 to 1 Saturday, when it closes for good. Very nice shirts go for $25, blazers $50, down coats $75, all very good quality. The stuff lasts forever. I blew a ton'o'cash I didn't have on the stuff today. The girl in the middle will tell you pretty straight whether it looks good on your or not too. She's a cutey and I would've taken a better photo of her but the ball and chain was there, I don't want her to know the banter I use to soften models up so I kept my distance. I'll post the exact addy later when I find the paper but you can find it based on my instructions.

Canada should join the States - here's why

What do you call it when someone's movements are confined and limited? It's the definition of imprisonment, isn't it?

What then does it mean when states allow citizens to certain parts of the world, under certain conditions, for certain amounts of time?

Our countries have imposed a massive system of human imprisonment, often on perfectly well-intentioned people whose departure in one country and arrival in the other would perfectly benefit all people involved.

On the flight back from Atlanta a few days ago I sat next to a quiet young woman from Florida who looks a little like Drew Barrymore. She's from central Florida, has a university degree in finance and had decided to move to Montreal. She's a legit professional and has been working at a well-known investment firm. She attends the downtown Lutheran church and planned to set here. She recently learned that her company has fouled up her papers and her dream of moving to Montreal has been shattered due to incompetent administration. She's leaving probably never to return.

Many of anglo Montreal's smartest people over the last few decades were Americans who moved here as conscientious objectors to the Vietnam War (including Mike Farber, Terry Mosher, Kevin Cohalan, etc). When smart, young, well-educated professionals from the States want to move up here, we should fling open the doors and lay down the red carpet.

When the big boys negotiated free trade a few years back they rigged it so you could send any variety of items over the border and make all sorts of deals happen. But for a human to settle in the other country continues to be an unreasonable hassle. In this new world of mobilized talent, borders largely represent an unreasonable tool of repression and tyranny.

If Canada simply joined the states, we would not longer have this problem.

Many might think this a bad idea because the political culture there is more conservative than ours, but that's the same narrow thinking practiced by the local anti-merger people here in Montreal.


Canada - as part of the USA - would have a major influence on the most powerful country in the history of the world. Our electoral input would swing the balance to the left and another Bush-like government might taken centuries to get elected.

Uniting with the USA should be the Canadian Dream.

Failing that, we should negotiate a deal that would facilitate human passage and settlement between Canada and the USA, such as that which already exists in Europe.

Canadians should be allowed to wander and settle anywhere to the Mexican border without having to worry about papers and the same goes for Americans coming North.

Montreal's most famous black guy - surprise - !


Montreal's most famous living back person is somebody you probably never suspected to own that title.

Here's a hint, it's not Steve Fletcher, the guy featured in this hockey card, but he's the hint.

Fletcher was an NDG scrapper who played a smattering of shifts for the Habs long ago but survived a long career in the minors. Fletch was an incredible athlete. My friend saw him at a pool in NDG diving off the board, later remarking in vivid detail what a stud and great athlete the glistening, muscular Speedo-clad Fletcher was. The description of Fletcher was so intense that I had to interrupt it because the chat was getting kinda uncomfortably Brokebackesque in its conversational direction.

Fletcher is often mistakenly considered to be the only black guy who ever played on the Canadiens. That's entierement incorrect.

The most famous living black Montrealais has also been known to don a pair of blades from time to time.

Free popcorn for a week to whoever can guess it. Check here later for the answer.


Okay, time's up here's the answer. If you guessed... Gary Coleman....well... you're thoroughly wrong and shame on you for making such a bad guess.












The answer to today's quiz was born in New York City on October 17, 1975, which of course was also the famous day that Maurice Gibb married his second wife Yvonn Spenceley. The famous black Montrealer's mom was French Canadian and dad was Haitian. His nom de guerre is Francis Bouillion, otherwise known as the Cube. Thus he is technically black although he looks either black or white depending on how he does his hair on any given day, proving that obsessions with ethnic labeling are often ridiculous, something we've learned after dwelling on such irrelevant questions as who the first black hockey player was and so forth, it is, after all, not where you're from, it's where you're at.



Bob Gainey - terrible sadness.

My heart sinks for Bob Gainey in this terrible moment after his daughter was swept away at sea. Few, if any people, I've met have the larger-than-life aura of Gainey, who I knew a little during the big Stanley Cup winning years. Around 1979 I invited him to speak to students at Westmount High and he showed up and answered students' questions for about an hour. He was quiet, polite and intense, as he is now. Everybody was blown away by his generous visit. A few years later I attended a game, a rare event for me. It was an important playoff match against Buffalo and Gainey got a penalty. While skating to the box he spotted me in the stands and nodded to me. It convinced me that he's on some higher level of consciousness or something. I find it incredibly sad to think that he's lost his wife and now, apparently, his daughter.

Men Without Hats




Beyonce - to my ear - owes one to Outremont's Stephen Doroschuk and his brother Ivan Doroschuk of Montreal's Men Without Hats.

Her new song Irreplaceable contains the Hats' "everybody look at your hands" riff in its most blatant form, replacing it with "everything you own in a box to the left."

Please tell me you hear this too. If you don't, humour me please.

Here's my Men Without Hats update: Stef is still around Montreal, living out in the hills somewhere. Ivan Doroschuk left town to open a bar in Victoria, BC. He sorta dissed Montreal in an interview, expressing unpatriotic disdain for snow, which was a cruel jab at Bonhomme Carnaval, an old friend of his from the Pop Goes the World vid.

Stef was a good scorer at road hockey, a real cherry picker tho. Very affable guy. He loves it when I needle Ivan.

Another Hat, named Alan McCarthy, went to Westmount High School, he was a bit older than me. He tickled a mean piano. He died at age 37. It's a saddening thing. You don't hear much about him and I always wondered what he died from.

Another brother Hat Colin Doroschuk I knew in the early 90s, he's outgoing, sweet, good father, with a lovely wife who was good at softball.

Ivan had a few years with no cash coming in due to record company squabbles. He lived on Walker in St. Henry where hangers-on would constantly ring his doorbell and recommend he revive his career by going on comeback European tours with Kajagoogoo, and so forth. He considered returning to university and attended for a bit but decided against it. He married a youngish blonde girl who seemed like a wee bit high maintenance. I saw them on the metro about a decade back. He was sporting a gorgeous vintage blue leather jacket with a big Fleur-de-Lys on it. Ivan was friendly but shy. She was sitting ignoring everything but her stupid book about goblins. I also dropped into a Toronto nightclub around 93 where Ivan was wearing the same jacket and doing a remixed version of his hits. It sounded great.

Speaking of local musicians moving to Victoria, the somewhat less shy-fellow local rockabilly musician Peter Sandmark (another excellent guy and good father) also moved to Victoria about two years ago after bagging a couple of hundred thousand lucky bucks by selling the Monkland Village home he'd bought cheap just before the boom. I love the guy but on one of the coldest days in the city history, a day when the frozen mud stuck up like stalagmites, Peter explained how he wanted to save the planet by barely heating his home. Yikes! Maybe warmer climes were his destiny.

Urban Sprawl prevention - make small units big




Here are some not-very-exciting photos of my recent trip to Greensboro NC.

You you get there by motoring down the I-81 starting via New York state near Kingston. At night the only visual stimulation consists of Wear-Your-Seat-Belt signs and an occasional one announcing the distance to the next city. There are surprisingly few of these. First it's Syracuse then Binghampton, then on through hilly Pennsylvania, Scranton, Wilkes-Barre. The radio demagogues get dumber as you go along. They gripe against big government but also complain about those who oppose the Iraq War. After about 10 hours I got off at Roanoke for a small road full of deer and then onto Greensboro, a fast growing small town where Friendly and Elm - which has about 1/20 th the foot traffic of Wellington in Verdun - is the main intersection. Greensboro is a fast growing city but had almost no downtown core. It redeemed itself somewhat with a fairly solid nightclub visit, where every ethnicity was boogie-ing down together. The next day I awoke and ate grits at the rather dodgy Waffle chain. Like all low-level service industries in the south, it was run by bright but somewhat desultory young blacks, much unlike those in our town. Then it was another 11 hours on the 40 West, through mountains then to Knoxville, Asheville, Nashville and finally to Memphis. Knoxville had terrible traffic jams and Nashville has an impressive skyline that beckons. Memphis itself is - like many other US cities - screwed by a lack of spending and planning. There's no real city there.

In fact. urban USA is mostly quite suburban. Their idea of a city is a series of small ugly structures flanked by plenty-o-parking, housing restaurants, cell phone shops, banks each which sit about 25 yards on boulevards that look like Taschereau. Homes are generally new and big. They have no basements or back yards, but they want those extra bedrooms and bathrooms.

Montreal also faces urban sprawl. Families are getting off the island fast and the town fathers and mothers are trying to think of ways to keep them here.

Some ideas, like former Mayoral Candidate Jerome Choquette's notion of putting tolls on the bridges were laughed at when proposed but are now being taken seriously. It's a bad idea that will backfire. The suburbs will no longer need Montreal, they'll end up getting their own separate downtowns. Some developers are already pushing for that, note the Centropolis thing in Laval, encouraged by the bad PQ idea of putting a metro up there.


Don't blame those who leave the city. Many want to own in Montreal but can't find apartments big enough to house their families. They need three or more bedrooms and at least two bathrooms. Our city tends to have one bedroom places. So here's the answer: an owner of a sixplex takes two of these units and unites them, suddenly he has a three bedroom, two bathroom apartment, exactly the thing that families want to own.

So you take a sixplex with six small flats and turn it into three family-sized condos. Two small one bedroom places become one three bedroom joint with a hudge kitchen and two bathrooms. That's what will keep people from moving to the 'burbs. The government should pay owners to make the switch.

To end the flight to the suburbs, Montreal must encourage landlords to take two smaller units and make them into one larger family-friendly unit.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Montreal's skin trade martyrs

Vancouver just cracked down on massage parlours. If we did a similar thing here, it’d be murderiffic! Massage joints are bigger than depanneurs in this town as shown in recent exposes of this sorta obvious fact by the excellent Nicolas Berube in La Presse and ever-attentive Rob Lurie of CTV News.

The last time Montreal really hammered the local skin trade started with what might’ve seemed a nothing announcement by provincial Justice Minister Jean-Jacques Bedard on January 24, 1967. He promised to appoint a board of inquiry on the administration of justice in the province. This eventually became the massive Crime Commission, which cost a bundle. There were loads of cops in deep cover, running up all sorts of overtime.

Mayor Drapeau had lobbied for this, as he believed his earlier work busting up the city’s underbelly was threatened with reversal.

Since then those working in the sexual pleasure industry have largely gone unharrassed, occasional bust of street crazies and the odd tragic murder aside. Massage girls and strippers routinely double dip welfare and massive wads of cash, none of it going to taxes. But occasionally one or two get nailed to the cross of sex.

Here are three notable local martyrs of police crackdowns on the jerk’n’spurt industry.

1-Richard Siegfried Wiseman, commonly known as Ziggy, was a short little bald father of two. He was a hustler with a taste for Cadillacs and did the occasional bit of business with gangsters like Willie O’Bront and Frank Cotroni. Ziggy managed such French rock acts as Jenny Rock and in 1969 set up Quebec’s answer to Woodstock, which was the Manseau Pop Festival. Acts failed to show up, the rain fell, cops moved in. Fiasco City. Ziggy Wiseman bounced back by opening a chain of 17 massage parlours throughout the city. He had about 60 female employees – mostly aging strippers - on staff and a half dozen guys to manage the places. On average 300 men would drop in each day and spend no less than $35 for a massage with extras that could get up to $125. The massage girls could make up to $100,000 a year – not bad cheese for the mid 70s – and Ziggy’s take was estimated to be a staggering $8 million per year. But he wants more and bribes a Morality Squad member nicknamed Colombo to bust his competitors and leave him untouched. Ziggy gives a list of his own joints and the next day at 7 a.m. 120 cops bust his establishments. In August 1977, Ziggy Wiseman is sentenced four and a half years for trying to bribe a police officer and living off the avails of prostitution. In December 1978, Ziggy gets a few days out of prison and writes a two page letter to his wife. He then takes an intentional overdose of barbiturates. Thirty showed up at his funeral.

2-Martha Adams. In the fall of 1971 Martha Adams was accused of running a house of prostitution, a considerable rarity for a woman at the time. In March 1972 she was found not guilty. This gives that loveable extrovert a stage for more shenanigans. She turns out to be a bit of an extrovert. Our own Heidi Fleiss. She pens her memoirs and then runs for the federal seat in St. Hyacinthe against Claude Wagner, who was an intense defender of law and order. She sets up her campaign office across from his on Market Street. She gets a few hundred votes. At the end of the year she faces another charge of pimping and is found guilty. Five years later on Quebec TV she claims that she only ran against Wagner because she was promised that her sentence would be one year, instead of five is she ran against him. She was was last heard from a decade ago, then aged 66, still arguing that brothels should be legal.

3-Erna Dietrich was a Montreal prostitute who was caught by Revenue Canada big time. In December 1985, she was found guilty of tax avoidance and sentenced to 60 days in prison and $100,000 in fines. She had failed to declare incomes between 1974 and 1980 of $792,490, therefore she owed $239,251 in taxes. She claimed that she started as a hooker in 1972 due to having no other means of making a living and that she failed to declare her income because it was from an illegal source. Among the evidence of her wealth was a term deposit of $36,000 in 1974 and $12,000 in Canada Savings bonds. She had also put in $160,000 in Swiss Bank accounts.

Margot Turner and Ronald Fishman's final night

On 23 August 1964 two lovebirds, Margot Turner, 36 and student and part time machinist Ronald Fishman, 23, walked into the Cabaret to catch singer Rosita El Salvador. The new drinking hole was on St. Cat near the Main.

The duo had planned to marry the next year and Ronald had no objection to her age and her past as an escort and stripper. Roland and Jacques Poirier were in the bar as well, they were known as half of the crime family that had a fading grip as Kings of the Main.

Margot, familiar with the duo, sends them a drink. In return, the Poiriers invite them to sit. Margot allows the thuggish brothers to buy her a round, Fishman declines. She teases Roland about having put on some weight. Roland Poirier replies that she too isn't getting any thinner. She flashes him to show that she’s still got a healthy rack.

Jacques “The Pick” Poirier then turns on Turner, pointing out that she’s having a jolly good time while her old friend, their brother, the family crime boss, sits in prison in Ontario. Jacques also accuses her of hanging out with the Canasta Gang (CafĂ© Cleopatra was then known as the Canasta).

Turner replies that the Poiriers are no longer the kings of the Main. This is an obvious no-no and Jacques slugs her. Fishman, who’s a strapping guy holds Roland and the brothers attack him. Margot begs them to stop, “you’re going to kill him!” About 15 clients do nothing as this happened.

The Poiriers then return and punch Margot in the face and smash a bottle on her head until she loses consciousness in a pool of blood. They return to their seats and kept drinking. Half an hour later Fishman awakes and Roland apologizes for having used excess force.

The Poiriers offered to bring them to a hospital in the suburbs where nobody will ask questions. Fishman declines, and leaves alone with Margot but the Poiriers trail them in a car. They intercept the battered duo in the Royal Victoria parking lot.

Poirier grabs Margot and put a wire around her neck, which he tightens while laughing. Fishman pleads for her life, promising that he won’t rat Poirier out. Roland replies, “That’s for sure you won’t be saying anything to anybody.” Fishman passes out and when he awakes in the hospital he asks staffers if the woman is in the hospital. They don’t recognize the description and call the police.
One announces that a woman’s body had been found in Cote-des-Neiges. Cops launch a massive manhunt for the Poiriers and their trial begins June 1965 at a packed courthouse. It takes 35 minutes of deliberating for them to be found guilty. They are sentenced to hang on 5 September. Their case goes to appeal in October 1966 and ends the same way but by this time the death sentence has been abolished and the duo will not get feel the twiney necktie of justice.

The Poiriers stay in prison a long time after the murder of Margot Turner. Fishman was given a new name and identity. It is said that he became a professional in Montreal. Perhaps you even know him under that other name. He'd be 65 today.

Secret Mussolini dis...?

I got a call from a hospitalized academic recently who said he was at the Madonna Della Difesa Church on Dante Street which features the controversial Guido Nincheri painting which gives tribute to fascist leader Benito Mussolini on the ceiling. My caller overheard a CEGEP teacher discussing the work, saying that if you look closely, at least one of the characters looking at Mussolini is making hand gestures that suggest they are disrespecting him.

Nincheri's descendents later suggested that the painter was hesitant to glorify the fascist leader, but Catholics felt indebted to him for having made The Vatican a separate state, plus he was generous with his funding of Italian institutions overseas, so he got payback through pictures like this (thanks to Kate for the photo snap).

I passed this secret-disrespect thing by Hustak, who has researched the painting. He'd never heard this theory before but remains a skeptic.

Montreal's Italians have always had a soft spot for Mussolini but it was by no means unanimous. Joseph Spada, a socialist, ran a local Italian-language newspaper that lobbied against his legacy. He battled pro-Mussolini publisher Montreal Dieni Gentile whose son-in-law Joe Frantino was president of the Casa d’Italia until last I checked. Frantino runs a cafe opposite the church which long had a bust and portraits of Mussolini prominently featured. He apparently has them in the back room now, although the actual Casa d'Italia still has a plaque in honour of Mussolini just inside the entrance. One chap named Frank used to e-mail me confessing that he'd occasionally go in and spray paint over the plaque because he objected to Mussolini's legacy of fascist behaviour.

McGill lit riots of 1968


The brilliant former Equality Party MNA and retired History prof Neil Cameron is a huge fan of books, trivia, smokes and booze. He types the occasional op-ed in the smudgy inky world of newspapers, but saves much of his most sparkling work for informal discussion forums, such as MiM. His recent opus starts off as a critique of populist 60s radio host Pat Burns and quickly morphs into a strange tale of how local Jews were blamed for riots at McGill which started when the Daily republished an article suggesting that Lyondon Johnson masturbated into an open throat wound on the corpse of President Kennedy, which was a rumour that went around a lot in the 60s. Hmmph. Whatever. I've done worse.

Saturday, December 09, 2006


Set your VCRs to 10 am or 7 15 pm on Monday December 18 to see the 1995 Toronto film Soul Survivor which manages to be fascinatingly awful in spite of having some impressive talent. The director Stephen Williams hires his pretty boy brother Peter Williams to star to act as a normal guy trying to get ahead and gets hired by the baddie, who doesn't seem particularly bad (played by the Ben Johnson lookalike George Harris who impresses in Layer Cake). Reuben, the dreamy Jamaican cousin manages to be the worst acted and worst written character I've ever seen in a movie. It's clear that he's going to die from the start. What's this got to do with Montreal you ask? Tyrone Benskin, the highly-able head of our city's Black Theatre Workshop gets a bit part playing a feisty janitor who constantly harasses the star. He must've really needed the cash back then.

My usual massive amounts of testosterone were running a bit short today and I couldn't figure it out until I realized I was hauling around a couple of dozen fifty dollar bills in my pocket and it must've been radiating into my body. A coupla years ago Canada dumped the Newfie Firing Square (the circle of RCMP horsemen) and replaced it with the ballbustin' racist be-atches known as the Famous Five, along with Therese Casgrain, the token Quebecois feminist who started henpecking us beleagured men in the 1920s. The famous five got that way by fighting for the right to serve in the Senate. Yeah, serve in the Senate. The job that has been referred to as "having died and gone to heaven." You just show up and munch peanuts once in a while and get a huge cheque. The worst of the bunch is Judge Emily Murphy (she's the one with the signed picture. She wrote a book linking immigrants to drug dealing in Canada called The Black Candle in which she describes hashish as causing, "a mild, short attack of excitement to a prolonged attack of furious mania, ending in exhaustion or even death."
She adds: "Many Negroes are law-aiding and altogether estiminable, but contrariwise, many are obstinately wicked persons, earning their livelihood as freeranging pedlars (sic) of poisonous drugs." Chinese people as "black-haired beasts in our human jungle" and "hundreds of (white) girls living with Chinamen" and black men who "boast how ultimately they will control the white man." The other Famous five are Louise McKinney, Nellie McClung, Irene Parlby and Henrietta Muir Edwards, who was from Montreal.

Weekend update


Babe du jour. My friend Malvina, on the left, is not only hot enough to melt ice cream, she's also one of the city's fastest-rising lawyers, as you know one of my favourite professions. She's from Park Ex, moved to Greece but has returned and had a drink a while with me at the W Bar terrace a while back. The equally charming babe on the right, whose name temporarily escapes me, is of East Indian extraction and works in travel, I believe.




Found this rare old fashioned wood cabin style phone booth in the lobby of that City of Montreal building on St. Antoine just West of Berri. Like the ones in the lobby of city hall, the phones have been ripped out. I'd like to see them somehow protected as heritage items, but it seems unlikely.








Many a Montreal beggar has a customized routine. I guess they practice in the mirror and stuff. This one flames up a lighter at the end of a tube, as if playfully shooting a gun at you while concealing his face. I don't give to beggars so I don't care about his act but it's not a very good one. If you care to see this guy he's usually not far from one of the several beggar hotspots not far from the Old Brewery Mission, the first light after the eastbound St. Lawrence Street exit if highway 20 being the most likely.





The facade of this dump behind the parking lot on Drummond South of St. Catherine, features the traces of an old entrance, it was a horse stables. I lived at this dump for 5 years, paying $300 a month, loving every minute of it. I battled the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet which would leave its dumpster below my window, something which I put a permanent end to by convincing now-deceased city councillor Georgina Coutu to put in some permanent planters. Bums would dumpster dive for General Tao chicken amid Chez Pares talent would who park their cars, telltale gym bags in tow, to work at one of the three adjacent peeler joints.

This massively popular and crowded shoe shop on Wellington has the most amazing deals on shoes in town. That's all I'm saying. Up to you to find out the rest.

Friday, December 08, 2006

The tragedy of Mad Dog's burger chain

I just spoke to Maurice "Mad Dog" Vachon
at his home in Nebraska. I was led to call him after seeing the photo of Mad Dog Burger (below) taken by Kate McDonnell among her excellent shots on Flickr. The first Mad Dog Burger franchise was launched on St. Catherine East on May 21, 1988 and owned by Martin Gilbert, a former automobile electrician, who was eventually a little miffed that it took over a entire year for a second one to open up. Franchises cost $50,000 although with other costs they ended up totaling up to $250,000. A second was opened on Masson in the Plateau on 1 November 1988, but Mad Dog couldn't attend the ribbon cutting because he had recently lost a leg in a car accident. A third ended up in Place D'Armes but closed in late October 1989.

Mad Dog and his brother Paul "The Butcher" Vachon - had both recently retired and these restaurants were the fulfillment of a longtime dream they shared, or so they said at the time.

But it screwed up when lawyer Jean-Marc Béliveau, who had once headed the provincial Union Nationale party, started monkeying with the investments. He was eventually disbarred in late 1989 for his involvement with the chain. He was 55 at the time.

Béliveau allegedly borrowed over $400,000 from the till. Monique Peries of Hawkesbury personally lent him $200,000. An elderly woman named Aristas Comis gave her entire life savings of $25,000 to the cause, she was attracted to the investment by lawyer Claude Rousseau, a friend of Beliveau's, who she heard speak on CKVL radio. Plomberie les Lutins sued for $26,000 in unpaid bills.

Beliveau reported that he had temporarily borrowed $150,000 of the franchisors' cash to fund a $15 million deal of which he would supposedly get one mil. A priest in Cameroon named Dogmo was going to get a $25 million donation from a religious Catholic in China and brokering that deal would supposedly land Beliveau one million.


This is what Mad Dog says about the ill-fated affair. "It was thought up by a the lawyer (Beliveau). He was dishonest and he got me into this. He got a lot of people to buy franchises. It was a very bad experience. He was crooked and many people got screwed and lost a lot of money. The name was good. It was a good idea. But he wanted to take all the money."

Mad Dog otherwise sounds in good spirits. He has two homes, one in Windsor Ontario and one in Nebraska which has, he says "about the same weather as Montreal." Why not retire to warmer climes? Indeed The Dawg spends three weeks a year in Honolulu but didn't go this year and won't go next. "My daughter Cheryl was born there in December 1961. That year I spent eight months in Hawaii." Mad Dog remembers Portland, Oregon also. "That's where I had my first fight. Before the fight even started I was disqualified and suspended. I got so mad in the dressing room that they gave me the name Mad Dog and it stuck."

Only 5 months left

Days start getting longer soon. That's the first step to this. Be patient.

Where's Rajiv Rajan and is he dangerous?

Haven't heard much about Rajiv Rajan, Kimveer Gill's friend that was kept inside the Pinel Institute for the Criminally Insane for an entire month where he was evaluated as being unable to differentiate between right and wrong.

At last report Rajan was released and waiting to be assigned to another facility for further treatment.

They seem to be implying that this guy is highly dangerous and that he triggered the murderous rampage by being a bad influence on little Kimveer, and yet there they are letting him out back home. What's the deal with this?

Here are some media spin tips for the mother of Kimveer Gill, who -to her credit - has agreed to be interviewed several times by media outlets. Up until now her responses have largely been to shrug and says "I don't know."

I would tell her to do two things - one: blame Kimveer's prolems on TBI. There's been some talk among the beard-stroking white lab coat set of a possible link between brain injury and criminal behaviour. The only data I've seen on this suggest that more study is required.Gill's mom should remember an incident where he bumped his head and immediately changed.

Secondly, find a scapegoat. Hello... Rajiv Rajan whose responsibility has already been strongly hinted at.

Get cured at the city's first barmacy


Alexandre Baldwin has been running a natty bar
for the last year and a half on Laurier
near the Main which he calls the Baldwin Barmacy in tribute to his grandma who had a pharmacy on the Main. He has incorporated the pharmacy motif in a variety of features, including glasses shaped like pharmacy vials. He's 32 and started at the Gogo Lounge before moving over to the Whiskey Bar, he split with the manager to set up his own spot and whoomp here it is. No prescription or referral required.


Theatre review - Under Construction at Espace Go


Last night popped my unwashed head at the Espace Go to check out Under Construction, which runs until 16 December. The elements were in place for a good experience - I had a good front row seat and the play has already been running for a couple of weeks. It features three young male actors and three young actresses, with slightly goth hair and makeup and pinstripes and dresses. The play was a series of disjointed and unconnected vignettes, many poking fun at old time throwback social mores from the 1940s and 50s. There were tips on how to act on a first date and to please your mate, there was a sequence where they joyously played pickup softball and so on and so on. It's in French, I might've neglected to mention. Espace Go bills itself a theatre of ideas and in the past they've done some interesting stuff, I particularly enjoyed the second part of the Greek tragedy trilogy that they featured between 2002 and 2005. That production was a mock TV taping and was very clever. Anyway Under Construction is a translation of a text done by a noted American author whose name I can't bother to look up right now because it simply didn't do much for me. The crowd offered only very muted applause at the end and the actors didn't seem particularly surprised at the lack of enthusiasm. Sorry, can't recommend this one.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Duplessis Orphans - more money questions...


Rod Vienneau has a smoking gun.

The Joliette country singer-turned Duplessis Orphans' rights advocate, has a government document making reference to government payments of $300,000 per annum which went to the Duplessis Orphans Committee administered by Bruno Roy.

For those who missed the movie, DOs were children illegally sent to insane asylums in the 40s and 50sand falsely diagnosed as mentally ill as a provincial scam to score more money in federal grants.

Decades after they were raised in such a debilitating environment where many never learned to read or were allowed outside, they were issued a payment. They had been promised an apology and a clearing of their medical records but never got it. The compensation was ridiculously shabby. The $10,000, plus one thousand per year held inside is a joke in comparison to victims of other such cases of abuse.

Many pointed out that the professionals surrounding the case - lawyer, PR guy, president and provincial bureaucrats, bagged a lot more money than the actual victims.

The document that Vienneau has produced - numbered 699-99 dated 16 June, 1999 - details payments that Orphans Committee chief Bruno Roy would receive from a variety of provincial ministries.

Committee Chief Roy (that's him in the black and white photo) was later eventually accused of successfully pressuring the vulnerable orphans to accept a far-too-low offer.

Vienneau says that nobody was told about this $300,000 per year and he questions how it was put to use. He notes that the committee once even complained that it was so skint it couldn't afford its regular Christmas dinner for the 40 or 50 adult orphans.

Vienneau says he learned about the $300,000 deep within a package of legal documents sent to him by Roy who was unhappy with Vienneau's attempts to have him replaced as committee chief.

Vienneau is still trying to get an explanation as to who got the money and what they did with it. Stay tuned for further details.

Today - 5 th anniversary of callous cowardly murder

Jason Forbes, 26, was murdered at Bar Ivoire five years ago today in front of 30 witnesses, none of whom have come forward to talk to police. Forbes is believed to have been at the wrong time and the wrong place. His mother Fay has since become a vocal critic of many black community leaders whom she believes haven't worked hard enough to denounce the tendency of the community to work with the police in such instances. I spoke to her today and she was - as usual - still very much distraught over the loss of her son. RIP to Jason, who died much too young. Bar Ivoire, an unattractive white building just west of the underpass near the St. Henry metro, has been closed and empty since that terrible day of infamy.

Auction action Saturday morning



One of the city's better auctions takes place Saturday morning from about 9 a.m. onwards at 6546 Waverly, corner Beaubien, call 278-0821 for info. It's the government selling off goods from deceased people who were wards of the state. There's about 10 cars for sale, last time I went they didn't go too cheap, but the weather was warmer so there was a pretty good turnout, so you never know. The cars will probably be auctioned off no earlier than 11, as they tend to first sell off a whole ton of other stuff, there seemed to be massive amounts of tools, so if you need some used power tools, and wire cutters, etc,there are bargains to be had, plus the usual furniture and such stuff, none of it was all that impressive but there could be some finds.

Moving to Montreal - tips wanted


My new friend Bonnie from New York City tells me she's considering moving to Montreal. She'd like to live in Little Italy - she's a bit of an Italianophile it appears. She's got university and wants to line up some work here. She's been doing administrative work for a plumber. Write me at megaforce at gmail if you have any suggestions and I'll pass them along.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

So Shul Notes

This is Rosalie Lessard, whose land I lorded for four years and thought I knew... but I only discovered today that as well as being a charming person, she's an accomplished, award-winning poet. I guess it never came up in conversation. Rare are we triple threat people blessed with personality, looks and talent.







Leslie of Cote-St. Luc via Grenada is the best freaken handiman on the planet. He's been doing everything from complex electricity, to plumbing, to plastering jobs for me for about seven years. He's strong as a bull, works like an ox is the reverse of those renovator guys who talk a lot and charge even more. I still hire him for every type of repair, so feel free to hire him but don't steal him from me. 514-812-3367.






Seven days ago Peter McQueen held a barnburning speech in front of over 100 people in Lower NDG at the Brodie Farm Community Center and turned a few heads with a very complete and exhaustive presentation on the dangers of the upcoming McGill University Superhospital to the communities of NDG and Westmount. Peter and many others oppose the superhospital road plan which would cripple much of the southern part of NDG. In spite of this the powers that be have totally refused to listen to the citizens of the area but there's a groundswell on the rise. Check out his site defendndg.com







Who on earth walks into a restaurant and orders 10 hot dogs? Next time you pass Rex Pizzeria on Wellington, in Verdun, you'll note there's a bunch of specials posted in the window, with one that always one that seems highly implausible. I asked one of the staffers about this once but got a bit of a chilly response, I guess the kid's mockery detector was on high that day. One day I'll try it and let you know how it goes.

Vols Vanted

The Volunteer Bureau of Montreal, hunky Francois and cerebral Kevin, are recruiting good souls to volunteer for the following unpaid posts. One or two of these postings are from organizations that look like they really could find some cash to pay someone for these tasks (as Churchill never said: "there's a fine line between sacrifice and slavery.") but others - particularly that World Of Dreams - look like excellent causes.!Ring! !Ring! 842-3351 fer info..

-Jewish Eldercare Centre needs weekend volunteers to bring residents to activities and synagogue services at the centre. Métro Côte Ste-Catherine.
-World of Dreams Foundation Canada needs volunteers to wrap gifts in a downtown shopping mall. Jacquie Ross-Zalac: 985.3003
-Mile End Community Mission is looking for a volunteer to teach French to adults and children on Monday evenings. Métro De Castelnau.
Downtown YMCA
is looking for a volunteer woodworker with own tools and work space, to build several movable information boards for the lobby. Irene Nasim: 849.8393 x-734 Maimonides Geriatric Centre needs volunteer drivers to bring meals. Métro Plamondon or Villa Maria. Patti Desternfeld:483.2121 x-2213

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Chinatown in summertime...sigh....







Bar for sale - who wants in?



Pub St. Charles, the last remaining bar on below-the-tracks side of the Point can be yours. It's in a dramatically industrial spot just beneath the Bonaventure expressway where it hovers over Wellington. Make an offer. Owner Helene tells me that biz has taken a big hit since the smoking ban. She's looking less-than-thrilled about this. She's a longtime veteran of the bar scene in the Point and this one could be her last stab at glory. It seems like a nice enough place. No ruffians there when I popped in, but truly it seemed a wee bit sleepy when I walked in with my small entourage (lawyer, manager, hairdresser and grooming artist).

Just for Laughs Gags - the fix is in!



From a recent Toronto Star article: "Pop culture guru Robert J. Thompson of Syracuse University says people who participate in reality TV or gotcha shows like Just For Laughs Gags should, and probably do, know what to expect when they sign a consent form.

I've got some news. First a bit of background. You've likely seen this show, largely filmed in Dominion Square. Unsuspecting dupes get surprised by bizarre situations. The show is big around the world and makes our city famous. But guess what? The show is fixed. They do indeed dupe innocent and unsuspecting passersby but what they don't tell you is that the production staff routinely asks them to do retakes with greater expression. The entire premise of the show - to explore the natural human response to strange situations is a fraud. Too bad. But that's life. I wanted a pony on my birthday when I was nine. So this is the second straight devastation I've suffered.

Lazy traffic guard derelict on his duties - The shame!!!



Spotted this traffic guard on Queen Mary and Decarie a couple of weeks ago totally doing nothing as people cross the street. He probably thinks his job is to only help small children and the rest of the time he can stand around and do nothing when adults cross, but what if an adult is imperceptibly vulnerable? Maybe one person looks normal but has a condition which makes him a bad pedestrian. He really should be taking charge of that intersection, establish his presence take charge guy! - instead of passively laying back waiting for tiny tots to come along. Somebody go talk to this guy.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Capri on St. Patrick - a Montreal city icon


Apparently last Friday was the first time in owner Jean-Paul's 20 years of ownership of the Capri that he had to actually turn clients back at the door. Jean Paul of the Capri says that his clientele has blossomed so much that the 200-seat St. Patrick street Point St. Charles brasserie couldn't handle all the business coming its way.

The place deserves every bit of its success. I suspect many land here because it's a much more reasonably priced than that faux working class clip joint a few blocks over whose name I won't mention ...ah heck..Magnan's. Many Capri faithful once hung out at Magnan's, but the old time local Irish contingent vowed to never return after being banned from singing there. It would seem that others were blown by the same easterly breeze, encouraged no doubt by the Capri's specialty, pickled pigs feet.

There's also that bit of business where Magnan's owner was a city concillor in the 80s and banned all new competing bars in his own area, which seems a bit conflict-of-interesty. So I cheer for the Capri, it's a great place full of wide smiles and good food and old time brasserie fare. Jean Paul rolls up his sleeves and gets right into the kitchen to help out, my kinda dude. That's him on the right in that photo.

Welcome to expresso heaven


If you've never tried the expresso at Momesso's on Upper Lachine you'll never truly understand why it's called Express-OOOOOOOOOH! this place has beans grown in heaven, and a machine that must've been made by Papa Gipetto himself. That's Paolo Momesso, the brother of the hockey guy Sergio Momesso, who wields the magic caffeine touch.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Was Queen Victoria's grandson murdered in Montreal West?

What is still believed to be Queen Victoria's secret grandson was found dead next to the train tracks in Montreal West 99 years ago next week.

Henry Locock, 39, a British army officer had fallen from a train going from Montreal to Kelowna BC, where he was trying to track down Walter Stirling, his biological father as a result of an out-of-wedlock fling with Princess Louise, Queen Victoria's sixth of nine children.

On December 10, 1907 his dead body was found next to the tracks with $47 in the pocket. At the time foul play was not suspected but I've got to wonder now myself.

He was trying to reach a friend of the royal court named Walter Stirling, who had apparently retired in Kelowna. He believed Stirling to be his true father.

He had been adopted in 1867 by Dr. Charles Locock, Queen Victoria's gynecologist.

His mother Princess Louise supposedly gave birth to Henry at age 19, a couple of years before she married the Governor General of Canada, the famously promiscuous homosexual Lord Lorne who'd never met a waiter he didn't try to goose. The province of Alberta is named after Princess Louise - as her name is Princess Louise Caroline Alberta - as is Lake Louise. Her art collecting habit helped launch our National Gallery. She had no other children.

A 75 year old descendant in South England led a legal campaign to exhume his grandfather's body two years ago for a DNA test in an effort to prove that indeed his grandpa was Victoria's real grandson but a judge nixed the demand, so we shall probably never know the truth.

Another indication that he might've been a big shot is that his descendants unexpectedly inherited a whopping sum of cash after his death. Personally I suspect he was shoved out of the moving train but a porter on take, but we'll likely never know.

Chez Francoise still rockin'





If you've never been to the Bar Chez Francoise at St. Catherine and Valois, it's a solid, unpretentious good time. Hasn't changed much since I went five years back. Same owner, same piano man and same barman, Christian, who was very shy to pose for this photo, although he's a pretty good looking dude. I've been about 8 or so times and it's always a hoot, there's always a ton of acts, but Patrick Joly, whose picture is in a couple of these photos in the background, is the hottest thing going. He's generally there Thursday evenings, I'm told.

Giants of St. James turn 100

If you go to this magnificent provincial archival building at Viger and Berri (across from that park full of junkies) you'll find these four 4.5 meter canephorae - the Greek word for maidens, which represent Industry, Transportation, Fishing and Agriculture. They were done by NYC sculptor H. Augustus Lukeman in 1906 and stood 22 meters above street level at the front facade of the Provincial Bank of Canada 221 St. James Street W. in Old Montreal from 1908 until 1990. They cost $20,000 back then, big money at the time. Developers Mario Cytrynbaum and Brian Cytrynbaum took them away for repairs in 1990 and then left them at Entreposage Beloeil Inc. The owner sued them for $27,000 in unpaid storage bills.

The Cytrynbaums - who were and probably still are extremely wealthy - were planning to place the artwork in a $100-million Hotel du Palais project at the northwest corner of St. Jacques and St. Francois Xavier Sts. It was never built.

Some believe that the proper place for the statues - which were estimated a decade ago to be worth a mere $10 grand each at auction - really belong atop their original building, but I guess they're just as good indoors here, so pop by and peek at them if you get a chance but don't stand too close, because, as you should know, Fishing lost her arm in 1978 when cleaners sandblasted it a bit too hard. It fell off to the ground and killed the son of one of the board members.



Assault on St. Denis.



I was attacked today by the guy in this photo on St. Denis just below Sherbrooke. Someone recommended I mention a store owned by this Kurdish guy.
It's for a light'n'fluffy story I'm writing for some US newspaper about interesting places in Montreal.

When I asked the Kurd if wanted in the article, he said he'd have to ask his boss. He recommends that I only take a photo from the o
utside. I ask him maybe he should call his boss to ask her what she thinks.

Soon he's yelling very loudly. So I depart and I take that outside photo although at this point I'm pretty doubtful of using it.

He's runs out at me - as you can see in the photo - screaming in a mad rage, accusing me of being in the Mafia.

He grabs me by the neck and pins me up against that railing while screaming even louder.

Some 20 something European Plateaunik passerby tells the Kurd that he's committing assault and recommends that the Kurd let go of me. He then offers to act as a witness in a police report.

The Kurd scurries inside. He calls the cops, for what I'm not sure. I hadn't raised my voice, much less a hand in self-defense.

The Kurd explains that he has videotape, including some pointed onto the street. The Kurd neglects to show them the tape and the police don't bother asking to see it.

I repeatedly ask them to charge him with assault but the duo - one being Shawn Kemp-Dunberry of Station 12 - who seems like a nice enough guy, repeatedly discourage me from making a complaint because - they speculate - nothing would come of it. At this point I'm freezing cold having stood outside for half an hour. I've still got the option of pressing charges against the guy but I'd have to visit a police station and file a report.

Montreal cops have earned a reputation of being overzealous and reckless. In fact the opposite is true. Montreal cops aren't very serious about justice in this town. I had assumed that Quebec's low rate of criminal assault - we've got about half of Alberta's rate - was due to the peacefulness of our city. Now I suspect that it's because the police discourage victims of assault from proceeding with their complaints.

So next time you assault somebody in Montreal, don't worry too much about getting arrested because you can just bullshit the police and nothing will come of it.