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| Montreal`s last in-line skater? Rollerblading Goddess tackles Iberville on Halloween 2012 |
Unlike cycling, which is a way to tell the world that you an asexual weedbad, rollerblading makes you taller, sexier and just cooler.
There are no stupid chains and gears to break, no key to lose you can even go right into the stores with them on. I did it many times. If they tell you that you cannot enter with Rollerblades, ask them if you can enter with a wheelchair. That will shut them up fast.
On the downside, Rollerblades do not come with any real braking system, which might be slightly inconvenient when you want to brake. So it is possible that there are fewer people who travel in such footwear now because they all got run over and killed.
Rollerblades took a big hit when little idiots started wearing a pair of shoes in the heel called Heelies. Adults clearly did not want to be associated with those little jerks who all of us adults secretly envied.
According to the SGMA, in 2000 there were 21.9 million Americans reporting to partake in inline skating. By 2007 it was just 10.8 million.
To determine the Montreal numbers, divide the American numbers by 10 for Canada, and then divide that by four, for Quebec, and then divide that by two, for Montreal, which leaves you at 125,000 Montrealers on Rollerblades in 2007.
Apparently some people thought Rollerblading went into decline because people associated it with gays. Some Rollerbladers even joked; Q: "What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?" A: "Telling your parents that you're gay."
Of course it is no such thing, in fact the great Yvan Cournoyer even ran a hockey team that played on Rollerblades called the Roadrunners and they had some intense matches against such former NHL players as Jose Charbonneau and if I recall correctly Ron Duguay played in that league with his gorgeous flowing locks bouncing atop his glorious sweaty dome. Gay? I think not!
Too funny, cycling is a way to tell the world that you an asexual weedbad, is going up on facebook right now.
ReplyDeleteCurrent Hab Frankie Buillion (sp) also played for The Montreal Roadrunners & ex-NHLer Robert Picard played in the league.....
ReplyDeleteQuite right about the roller-blading decline. They would really annoy me whenever they approached on the bike paths--their legs lurching right at me!
ReplyDeleteHard to believe the "gay" connection, though. Why pick on roller-bladers for that? What about badminton or volleyball? Are they next targets?
There must be another reason such a prevalent activity faded out like the hoola-hoop.
Or maybe it will come back like the yo-yo always seems to?
Last month I saw 4-5 people attempt to enter stores with rollerblades on and were promptly told to get lost for insurance reasons.
ReplyDeleteThe only dangerous thing about rollerblading in a store is if the security tries to toss you out.. safer to let them go about their business.
ReplyDeleteThe NDG SAQ on Sherbrooke allowed me to shop with 'em on that last time I went.
Promptly dropped the bottle on the way home tho.
@urbanlegend,
ReplyDeleteDon't know how old you are, but back in the mid to late-70s, perhaps even the early years of the '80s, rollerskating rinks were a huge deal, similar to bowling alleys of the 50s.
The rinks played disco music.
Massive hangouts for teenagers. There was also disco rollerskating choreography, a sight not suitable for those with weak hearts or constitutions.
Disco and choreography are like a moth to a flame for some homosexuals.
I never had roller skates as a kid. Those metal wheels on the pavement were grating to the ears. In fact, now that I think of it, the only kids I saw doing it back in the 50s were girls and maybe a few very young boys who didn't have tricycles.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted a bike and had to nag my parents for years to finally get one.
A few decades ago there were roller derbies in designated rinks on TV involving very violent moves and dirty plays to knock opponents out of the way.
Glad such morons never showed up on the bicycle paths!
The latest bike path hazard: those silent but deadly motorized scooters which for some insane reason are permitted to ride there. They even LOOK guilty being there!
Just you wait: some nut speeding along on a motor bike will run over and kill some toddler on a bike path and the long-overdue public outrage will ensue.
Back in the Forties and Fifties the only roller skates available to children were the metal type with ball bearing metal wheels.
ReplyDeleteThe skates were held on the shoe at the rear by leather straps with buckles over the arch of the foot
Sideways fit was by key-operated clamps which opened and closed around the sole edge of flat-soled shoes using a Roller Skate Key.
They could be expanded length-wise for larger shoes.
Metal roller skates w/one type of key.
http://zettashouse.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/outdoor-metal-roller-skates.jpg
Roller Skate Key. Hung around neck w/string.
http://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/6201242/il_fullxfull.283269736.jpg
I used these skates on occasion before I was 12 or so, spent much time on my ass on the Macadam, and gave it up as a bad job.
Some Brylcreem dudes were good on roller skates and could skid them sideways in a cloud of sparks after dark .
Not I, tho'.
A bicycle could be ridden almost anywhere, grass, dirt, gravel, where you could never hope to go on skates.
Using skates on cobble stones must have been a thrill.
Old roller skates could be found as junk almost everywhere as the straps broke and the wheels wore out, or their owners grew up.
THEN a guy built a SCOOTER!
One skate was pulled apart, making a front and rear 'truck', and the key-operated clamps removed, leaving a flat surface on top of the front truck.
Then a piece of 2 by 4 about 3 feet long was salvaged from a dump or liberated from a fence or a Father's lumber supply, the skate trucks screwed on front and back, and a wooden crate applied on top at the front with a piece of lumber crosswise hanging over the crate as handles.
I found a wooden toy wagon with a D-shaped metal pull handle, hammered the metal ears on the bottom flat, and mounted it on the top of the plank with an L-bracket behind, making a lighter job than a crate.
Modern roller skate scooter w/plastic wheels.
http://www.thingamababy.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/06/02/citrus.jpg
The scooters would GO on a hill, and could be pushed along while ridden with one foot.
Made LOTS of noise, which was half the fun.
( Another noise maker was to clothespin playing cards to fender straps on a bike so they flapped on the spokes. This would REALLY irk folk in the summer when all the windows were open. )
Years later, without a handle or crate, they would become skateboards.
Lots of fun until I left it in the driveway and my Mother ran over it with the car.
It was then suggested I was 'too old' for a scooter and that I ride my bike instead.
In the winter we had Vee snow plows built on toy sleighs.
We were not allowed to use the telephone without adult supervision, the instrument itself a form of black mechanical Deity in the hall, atop a Telephone Directory ( not JUST a phone book, but a Telephone DIRECTORY ) with a winged almost-nude dude holding lightning bolts aloft and cables over his arm on the cover.
http://covers.booktopia.com.au/big/978091/039/9780910390118.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2526/3910396127_d959e5b060.jpg
302 Desk Set, Forties and Fifties. Older versions were metal.
http://www.rusticconnection.com/images/telephones/we302.jpg
Things WERE different before wall-to-wall TV and 45 RPM records.
Some hated this song, others loved it, aeons ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIFknAdVvNM
My, My, My.
Thank You.
An exquisitely informative book about the telephone's evolution, including full-colour photos, diagrams, historical facts, etc. is:
ReplyDelete"100 Years of Bell Telephones", by Richard Mountjoy. Schiffer Publishing. ISBN 0-88740-872-9
Ahhhh Roller skates, My older cousins were really into it. While my grandfather worked in the Als/concordes press-box, my cousins used to sneak in there roller skates and skate the ramps in the big O.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'd be too annoyed by rollerblades in stores, but one thing that bothered me visiting Baltimore this summer was these older boomers blading in a sit-down restaurant. If they had just sat at their table the whole time it might have been OK, but these people decided to go to the can like 17 times and awkwardly negotiate the space between tables, making a spectacle of themselves.
ReplyDeleteAbout 25 years ago I rollerskated all over my old neighbourhood in Cartierville. A testament to how good the streets were then, hardly any treacherous bumps or potholes. No way I'd do that in any Mtl neighbourhood these days.
Whoa, do rollerblades really make you taller?
ReplyDelete