Bring me the hair of Hans Marotte

Hans had short  hair as a kid.
Did nationalist leader Gilles Rheaume
(background) fail to encourage his
young protege's early chances
at hair glory?

Marotte, top, is a dead
ringer for actor Sean
Bean

   What's there to say about the great Hans Marotte that hasn't already been said on his Wikipedia page? (He doesn't have a Wikipedia page and I'm not going to write one - Chimples).
   Back in 1988 when the well-intentioned young lad smashed windows throughout the city and bravely climbed the cross on Mount Royal to hang a banner in favour of Bill 101, the glory of his name became known in households far and wide.

Hans, on the left, is like Depardieu
carrying a bit of extra weight

    He has since resurfaced because his son, a chip off the old block, vandalized the offices of the Education Minister and was ordered to live with daddy in a farm town on the south shore where they are surely conducting bragging competitions on who has better vandalism skills.
   Marotte has recently been denounced by his former separatist colleagues because he has transferred his passionate ardour from issues of language and political separation to helping the poor, specifically those who are inconvenienced by employment insurance snafus. In so doing, he has entered the dreaded federalist arena and doesn't even care about separation anymore. Heck he's even a lawyer.
   But one thing we never knew about Hans Marotte is that he has amazing hair. I mean, that's one glorious mane! It's the bomb times 20! Get me his shampoo, not later, now. It hangs down in old-time regal style, all blonde, shiny and just making his comb happy to be a comb. Who even knew he had such talents as a close-cropped youth?
   Marotte has to lead the NDP just so he can have a federalist hair-off with Justin Trudeau. But before we get to filming the Hans Marotte story starring the real Hans Marotte, we might think of getting him on a treadmill, as you can see, he is carrying a little extra weight around, so he might be more our Depardieu than Sean Bean.