Doritos assailed for refusing to make ketchup chips permanent

   A sinister warning atop a package of corn chips has been causing anxiety among a small (very small indeed- Chimples) group of Montrealers.
   The warning comes atop the Doritos Ketchup flavoured corn chip package which reads "Limited Time Only."
   Other chips do not have a "limited time" so some have wondered why this particularly Canadian product must be subject to that description.
   Is there are shortage of tomatoes we don't know about? Are Canadians expected to go so broke that we cannot afford to purchase chips?
   Montrealer Tanya Nock notes that Canadians are uniquely interested in ketchup flavoured chips and describes them as "the new KD" and "Canada's unspoken national food," on a website she has created in an effort to make the chips a permanent feature on the gustatory landscape.
   Nock is also the former drummer for Paddle to the Sea, a local band fronted by her boyfiend Phil Shearing, who apparently had musical differences with her over an encore to be played at a recent show on the Plateau.
   Paddle to the Sea is releasing its first album very soon, so Nock might become the Pete Best of the affair if the record takes off.
   And as much as we wish to congratulate Nock on her fine initiative, we also salute the company for recognizing the transitory nature of all human experience, as it reminds us of the valuable lesson that everything is forever until it's not.