Quebec Crime

Here's a bit'o'the highlights of crime from this year, mostly plucked from the always-excellent Photo Police.

Earlier this year back-Afro-Quebecois-guy Georges Boité, 32, of Quebec City had a rather original explanation for charges of repeatedly sexual assaulting a 12 year old girl, a habit which culminated in his attempt to sodomize her on 21 October 2001. He was a "friend" of the mom and used that fine friendship to try to touch, kiss and do other gross things to the young girl, insisting that she masturbate him and provide him oral sex. The young girl always resisted but the pedophile was a pushy bastard. With mom gone, and brothers zombified by good ol' Quebecois TV, Boite followed the girl into her room and attempted to sodomize her. His sperm was found on floor, curtains and bed. Boite's defence was that the young girl had relentlessly insisted on knowing if whether a black man’s sperm was the same colour as a white man’s, so he kindly obliged a demonstration by whacking off. The jury couldn't cum to believe that explanation, they figured that he was jerking them around.

Great moments in accounting Andre Roy, 45, was a clerk for the Caisse Populaire who embezzled $800,000 between June 1995 and August 2003. His luxurious life raised suspicions, as he traveled frequently to very expensive places, so they undertook an internal inquiry on him. Roy was sentenced to two years in prison. He says he spent all his money. It may or may not be buried somewhere however. He was on welfare and owes $436,988.00

Get lost!..damn lost object saint! St. Antoine is the patron saint of lost objects. The Clarisse Nunnery in Beauharnois had a statue of him on its premises, but it keeps getting lost. It's a two-foot tall cement number, not worth much, but kept inside an enclosed and locked yard. In November 2005 thieves grabbed it and a statue of the Virgin Mary and broke the arm off a statue of St. Bernadette. It’s the second time that the statue of St. Antoine disappeared from the monastery. The first time it was found along a road in the area. Presumably this time the thieves tossed it farther into the forest.

Bringing kitchen utensils to a word fight A mother in Gatineau, 41, freaked out at her son over his choice of friends. The family scene was no Kodak moment, as cops showed up to a bloodbath at a housing project where four children lived with their mom. They found the 18 year old boy covered in blood and complaining of pain in his ribs. His mom had thrown plates, glasses, knives, forks, pots and pans at him, causing the damage. The child didn’t want to make a complaint against his mother but after consulting with the authorities, including the youth protection, the file went ahead. The mom lost custody of the four year old.

High School not-so-confidential A 13 year old girl attending the St. Joseph High School in Mount Laurier hit it off with a 16 year old boy from the same school who asked her to email him nude pictures of herself. Soon they were all over school. Five kids were apprehended in relation to this affair and charged with possession and distribution of child porn.

Short careers in the cocaine industry Denis Delisle, 39, went on trial for stabbing Yannick Lafontaine, 25, 47 times in June 2004. It was Lafontaine's first day on the job as a cocaine dealer. These valued citizens lived in Ancienne Lorette in Quebec City and sure liked to sniff that blow. Delisle's girlfriend Guylaine Pellerin was helping him do just that until they ran out. They wanted more but had no money. They ordered the dealer over anyway. Delisle told Pellerin that he'd work something out and left the apartment. She noticed he had taken his son’s gloves and a long kitchen knife. A few minutes later he returned but seemed agitated and bleeding from the leg. He showered and stared nervously out the window. He gave two bags of coke to Pellerin. A few days later he told her that the dealer was dead and showed her the body in a car.