Hockey riots

The story of the week here - too depressing to report on sunny, uplifting Coolopolis - is that our brilliant police once again screwed up, allowing 16 of their cars to get torched after the Boston series, leading to a half million dollar bill to the city taxpayer because our cops didn't think it necessary to get a lackey to stand next to their car while they wandered around trying to be understanding and friendly to vandals and looters. Police were surprised by the riots. 
   Hockey never causes riots here, except for 1955, 1986, 1993 in fact idiot hockey fans get violent every time Brisebois shifts his jockstrap. Coolopolis plans to take one of the company vans and paint POLICE on the side. A couple of summer interns in fake cop uniforms will park on St. Catherine after we beat the Flyers. As you know Coolopolis trains its employees in the safe usage of big ass flame throwers, which they will employ to barbecue anybody who comes within 20 feet of the Coolopolis imitation police car. Meanwhile Chimples asks the question on everybody's lips: why doesn't anybody torch that guy's car?