We will not let you down on Wednesday this

We know that you have been worried. Now lay your minds to rest. For during the commonwealth-wide shutdown that coincides with the yearly Baptism Festival, you may find yourself troublesomely idle.
But never fear. You will not be deprived of the manifold public and pecuniary services that we provide to you from Coolopolis Towers. We will be fully manned and womaned. Our switchboards will be open for your calls. You may even come down and watch the pretty operators.
So whether you want to cancel your subscription, renew an ad, book a Turkish bath and order goose-grease, or place a sudden obituary for the boss that laid you off just days shy of your retirement, our lines and doors will be open on Wednesday 24 June. Regale!
That said, Miss Mable will be taking the forenoon off.