Karin Marks - no more mayoring Westmount & how I almost got tossed into Westmount prison

Karin Marks is done as Westmount Mayor as of November 1. I know her personally and I like and admire her. She did good work. And she looks better in real life than in her photos.


I suppose Marks - like many city pols - got tired of getting harangued endlessly by cranks. Marks championed a plastic playing field in Westmount Park. She got flack for that. She responded to pigeon complainants. That backfired. Other outcries led to the Westmount parks remaining risibly overpoliced.


On June 6 at 5 pm I was whacking some balls with the kids around the courts behind Westmount High, those windy old courts that few ever use. Nobody was around and we would have left if someone with passes wanted the courts.


Suddenly a zealous, fresh faced young tennis court attendant with short red hair asked us to leave. I don't posses a Westmount pass so I was prepared to oblige. As I collected the tennis balls, I gently reminded him that he didn't have to enforce the letter of the law. I too had worked as a Westmount tennis attendant in my youth and learned that a little generosity goes a long way.


Jason followed me off the court and sat on the bench near me and my wife. The kids played in the playground. I gently explained to young Jason that free will allows authorities to enforce rules with compassion.


This gentle discussion seemed to introduce dangerous levels of cognitive dissonance into poor Jason's head. To our amazement, Jason the Westmount tennis attendant started weeping. My wife and I locked perplexed eyes.


Jason walked away. Soon two Westmount Security cars showed up in shiny yellow jeep-like patrol vehicles.


Officers 7210 and 7290 demanded I show ID. I asked the same. They refused. I too declined.


The female officer immediately called Montreal Police. Maybe it's a crime not to show Westmount Security your identification on demand.


I calmly waited in the amber afternoon sunlight for the police to arrive, unsure of my purported offense. I chatted amiably with the other Westmount Security guy, an older, mellower guy with an acting sideline (pretty sure I've seen him doing the fake cop on the Just for Laughs Gags show). Filmmaker Paul Carvalho happened by, walking his dog. I introduced them and the guard asked Carvalho to be in his next film. It was all quite pleasant chit-chat except I was waiting to be arrested for reasons not entirely clear other than that Jason, the Westmount tennis attendant had become uncontrollably teary-eyed.


After 40-or so minutes Montreal Police cruiser 12-2 pulled up. Young male officers Ethier and Pare. The one who spoke to me was wound as tight as an overtwisted watch spring. He threatened to bring me in and charge me. I asked for what exactly I would be charged. He said that I must have said something terrible for making poor Jason the tennis attendant weep so vigorously.



(Photo from yesterday shows Westmount Athletic Ground courts as they normally are - complete with tennis players without passes hitting balls. Westmount Security guard ignores the misdeed and plays with her Nintentendo on a bench).






I was finding it hard to worry. From my experience getting arrested requires misbehaviour. I once had my neck throttled by a Turkish store owner on a sidewalk on St. Denis and even that didn't merit an arrest from another Station 12 officer, in spite of my pleas and a witness. But these two young cops deadly determined to bring me in on charges unspecified.


The cop took my wife aside for a private interrogation. My wife told the cop honestly that I had said nothing abnormal or aggressive to Jason the Westmount Tennis Attendant, who at this point was huddled in the back of the Westmount Security Jeep letting the waterworks flow.


The cop told me that if I wanted to avoid facing charges I would have to apologize to Jason. No problem. I'm a smooth apologist. I can sell all sorts of synthetic regret. So I agreed to hike on over to where Jason was crying and hopefully say something else that didn't upset him.


While sauntering to where Jason was weeping like a fire hydrant I commented to the cop: "I guess you don't have any murders to solve today."


The officer exploded: "That's it! No more chances! I'm booking you! You're going to be charged. You'll face a judge for this!"


Two apologies were now in order. The cop eventually calmed down. I said my words to Jason the teary-eyed boy. He stared at me wordlessly from the back seat. The surreal episode ended.


So dealing with us whacking some tennis balls on a semi-abandoned Westmount city court required: 1-Westmount summer tennis employee, 2-Westmount Security officers, 2-Montreal city police officers and threats of legal repression.


My kids didn't much grasp what was had happened. I didn't either. One of the cops talked to my children to explain to them that their daddy had done nothing wrong. I guess I still owe the kids a speech about how not all Montreal security employees are complete beatches.


That's how I escaped criminal charges for discussing philosophy with Jason, the young Westmount tennis attendant at the Westmount Athletic Grounds.


I wrote Mayor Marks and suggesting that perhaps they're overdoing it a little. I am sure she just loved reading my description of events.


Now you understand why politicians walk away from such headaches.


Jason is - as of a couple of weeks ago at least - still working as a Westmount tennis attendant.