It's normal to get angry. We all do. Hit your thumb with a hammer? Lose information on your computer? Go ahead and yell and curse.
But when your anger takes aim at other people, you're entering a dangerous grey zone of legality that can only lead to bad results.
I witnessed two middle-aged men fly into blind rages on the same afternoon earlier this summer in separate incidents.
Firstly a portly middle-aged guy behind the wheel of a Toyota Rav 4 angled his vehicle in front of mine while I attempted to clear intersection at Drummond and Dorch. He saw that I had a camera, as I was taking photos of new buildings while jammed in traffic. He grew infuriated and left his vehicle. He stuck his stubby hands in my car in an ill-conceived, halfhearted attempt to grab my beat-up old Sony mirrorless. I uttered not a single word during the entire incident and actually smiled throughout. That's him in the pic. Probably not otherwise a terrible guy, likely fun at parties.
About an hour later at Costco a shopper behind me in line started heckling me. Apparently the customer was irritated that I had removed an item from my cart and placed it in a pile of other items that people didn't want to purchase.
I don't know why this bothered him, as it in no way inconvenienced him but he started flinging items and yapping and placed expensive items onto the conveyor belt as the cashier processed my purchase. I furtively snapped his photo, as he was becoming possibly dangerous with his increasingly irrational behaviour.
After I left he came running to confront me, as the cashier told him that I had taken his picture. He held onto my cart and ordered me to delete my photo of him. A security guard eventually got him to finally leave me alone.
I later complained to Costco about their cashier inflaming the already-agitated man against me. They apologized and agreed that their cashier was wrong to further provoke the angry man. (I considered bringing Costco to small claims court for compensation).
Maybe I'm naive but ....why are people still getting so angry?
When I rode my bike a lot in my twenties I sometimes became angry at motorists who I felt endangered my safety, so I joined the dark side and got a car. Since then I've been pretty calm in public.
But once I was walking into Central Station and was once almost hit by a speeding bicycle courier (remember those?) at Metcalfe and Dorch. When I pointed out his recklessness he swung his wheel to hit me, so I tossed a grapefruit at him and hit him square on. He just rode away and I regretted the loss of my grapefruit.
Quebec has a good reputation for being non-violent. Peacefulness is part of what makes Montreal a good place. Our rate of assault is considerably lower than other places. We should keep it that way.
So while you might be a fine individual, it's important to be that way all the time. Simmer down, control your temper.
But when your anger takes aim at other people, you're entering a dangerous grey zone of legality that can only lead to bad results.
I witnessed two middle-aged men fly into blind rages on the same afternoon earlier this summer in separate incidents.
Firstly a portly middle-aged guy behind the wheel of a Toyota Rav 4 angled his vehicle in front of mine while I attempted to clear intersection at Drummond and Dorch. He saw that I had a camera, as I was taking photos of new buildings while jammed in traffic. He grew infuriated and left his vehicle. He stuck his stubby hands in my car in an ill-conceived, halfhearted attempt to grab my beat-up old Sony mirrorless. I uttered not a single word during the entire incident and actually smiled throughout. That's him in the pic. Probably not otherwise a terrible guy, likely fun at parties.
About an hour later at Costco a shopper behind me in line started heckling me. Apparently the customer was irritated that I had removed an item from my cart and placed it in a pile of other items that people didn't want to purchase.I don't know why this bothered him, as it in no way inconvenienced him but he started flinging items and yapping and placed expensive items onto the conveyor belt as the cashier processed my purchase. I furtively snapped his photo, as he was becoming possibly dangerous with his increasingly irrational behaviour.
After I left he came running to confront me, as the cashier told him that I had taken his picture. He held onto my cart and ordered me to delete my photo of him. A security guard eventually got him to finally leave me alone.
I later complained to Costco about their cashier inflaming the already-agitated man against me. They apologized and agreed that their cashier was wrong to further provoke the angry man. (I considered bringing Costco to small claims court for compensation).
Maybe I'm naive but ....why are people still getting so angry?
When I rode my bike a lot in my twenties I sometimes became angry at motorists who I felt endangered my safety, so I joined the dark side and got a car. Since then I've been pretty calm in public.
But once I was walking into Central Station and was once almost hit by a speeding bicycle courier (remember those?) at Metcalfe and Dorch. When I pointed out his recklessness he swung his wheel to hit me, so I tossed a grapefruit at him and hit him square on. He just rode away and I regretted the loss of my grapefruit.
Quebec has a good reputation for being non-violent. Peacefulness is part of what makes Montreal a good place. Our rate of assault is considerably lower than other places. We should keep it that way.
So while you might be a fine individual, it's important to be that way all the time. Simmer down, control your temper.
"You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole." - Elmore Leonard
ReplyDeleteAh yes, portly, angry, middle aged men. I run into them often, especially concerning photography. I enjoy a good "you delete that picture right now or I'm calling the cops" confrontation. In Canada, I particularly enjoy the threats to kick my ass since it's not very likely the nutjob has a .38 concealed under his XXL Adidas polo shirt. I always enthusiastically encourage the guy to call the cops and the more loud and crazy they get, the more calm and polite I get. I suspect that many of these guys are ex-highschool jocks that fondly remember physically intimidating anyone they came in contact with. They don't seem to realize that highschool was many, many poutines ago.
ReplyDeleteOne day, I hope to calmly talk one of these guys into a massive coronary in the middle of the street.
My theory is that in our point-and-click society, many drivers look through their windshields as if they were still staring at their home and office computer screens so that by sheer force of habit now, everything they see in front of them is "slow", "in the way", and should react "instantly" to their impatience, anger, and potential hair-trigger road rage.
ReplyDeleteOK, let me play devil's advocate here....
ReplyDeleteYou say that you "... attempted to clear intersection..." Do you mean that you were caught in the intersection while the cross-traffic got its green light? If so, you engaged the intersection without being able to clear it. If so, such action causes grid-lock. Drivers who creep in to an intersection when it is not clear are non-humans.
You say that you "...removed an item from my cart and placed it in a pile of other items that people didn't want to purchase." I will admit that I I don't go to Costco often, but I don't remember seeing a "Put what you don't want here pile" at the checkout. I certainly don't see such things (implicit or explicit) at the malls, stores and groceries that I go too. Courtesy will have you hand the item to the casheir and tell them that you don't want it. If per chance the item you placed in your imaginary bin was a pershiable food-item then you should have been chaged for the full amount of the item and refused all further service since you would be non-human.
Yes, all this may be extreme, but it may show that there are two sides to every story.
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