A Sunday slice of Saturday Night at the Bagel Factory

Page 99 of Don Bell's 1972 Montreal classic




The autobiography of Jockey Fleming Chapter 1




Kid Oblay tells how Jockey Fleming began his career as a moocher:   When Jockey and me is only 10 years old, I loan from my mother 30 cents to give to that moocher because he tells me he wants with it to buy some pencils and sunglasses.
   I know from nothing, I'm only 10 years old in knee pants. Jockey takes the money and goes to Woolworth's.
   I see him come out a few minutes later with the sunglasses, some pencils and a tin cup and he says to me I should come with him to Craig and St. Lawrence. So not knowing from nothing, I come with him.
   When we get to the corner, Jockey puts on the dark glasses and holds out the cup with the pencils and says to people passing, "Please help me, I'm a poor boy who can't see" that they should throw pennies in the cup.
   Jockey tells me whenever I see someone coming I should pass in front and throw in a penny, too, so that seeing me, they will feel like a rat and maybe throw in a quarter or 50 cents.
  That's how he starts his career as a moocher. Twenty years later when he grows up he becomes King of the Moochers. And he never pays me back the 30 cents I loan from my mother.
   Jockey tells how he moved up in the world

Jockey Fleming

   I used to work the Main and St. Catherine, then I burst up to the West End. You gotta go where the class is. And believe me, in my 50 years on the corner of Peel and St. Catherine, I've seen the greats go by.
   Everybody is nobody unless they know me. But I must admit that people don't always recognize me now because I wear a clean shirt.
   Kid Oblay is jealous of me.
   That's why he calls me the King of the Moochers.
   He mooches, too, only I give them something for their money. I always send 'em away laughing... Tell a story about a Little Jewish Guy was dying. Calls all the children over. He says "Children I'm dying Are you all here?" They says "Yes daddy what do you want?" Old Jewish Guy says, "Who the hell is watching the store?"
   The Jockey admits that he's the funniest thing in shoe leather.