Chickens are people too

Here at Coolopolis we believe that chickens are people too. They're people that you catch and kill and pluck and eat. Remember that when you see them crossing Bleury and St. Catherine (photo).

What some might not know is that we murder a whole ton of these guys, one company alone kills 1.7 million chickens a week. One point seven million, that's a chicken getting killed every .3 seconds, 24 hours a day in four factories, Berthierville, St. Damase, St. Jean Baptiste de Rouville

and St. Cuthbert. Not sure what's their technique but the latest cool way to kill a chicken is to gas 'em. That's why the KFC chicken has that flavour.

While we appreciate such efficiency, we think that non-chicken people should show some respect to the fowl they consume. Fast food restaurants should encourage you to say grace at the drive through.

Thanksgiving should be extended to a week long festival honoring the seven types of animal we regularly consume (1-chickens, 2-pigs, 3-cows, 4-lamb, um, 5-deer, err 6-um..snakes and 7-pigeons - unknowingly).

We should also erect a statue to honor the chicken. Here's what I propose, let it

perch right over the Ville Marie Expressway, crossing the road symbolically, like into the afterlife.

Benoit Beauregard, head of Quebec Poultry Limited, sometimes known as "The Giblet Man" reported in 1969 that consumption of chicken rose from 12 to 42 pounds from 1950 to 1969.

He offered this vision of chicken slaughtering in Quebec in the year 2000:

Fowl in the year 2000 will be an industrial product, hatched, incubated, fattend and made into a wide variety of dishes in

completely automated plants. .. Kitchens in the year 2000 will be very small, because of the overall shortage of space, but they will be fully automated. Prepared fowl dishes will be ideally suited to the new work-saving methods of meal preparation.... The chicken will be untouched by human hands. In the plant it will be plucked by ultra-sound and boned mechanically. The plant will have moved closert o the market in the big city.... To show children what hens and chicks look like, parents in the year 2000 will take tots to the zoo. .. Even today, airlines regard chicken as one of the most convenient foods to serve during flighs. By the year 2000, more travellers than ever will eat fowl on their way to Paris or Mars. Dehydrated fowl, in tablet form, will be the bill of fare for exploring galaxies.